Tainted Promise
by FallingWithGrace
Summary: All their lives, Ryan and Troy haven't cared for each other. But when they go to Vietnam for a community service project, will they find friendship and love? AKA Untitled TROYRYAN SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Miss Lovely here. See, I'd like to say that I do _not_ own _High School Musical_, or any of the characters, such as Troy Bolton and Ryan Evans. I do _not_ own Zac Efron of Lucas Grabeel. I do _not_ own Relient K, or their song _Let It All Out._ I do not own Hazen Street or their song _Are You Ready?_ I do not own Jesse McCartney and his song _She's No You. _I do not own the company Volcom stone. I basically don't own any products associated with this story, including iPods. I _do_ however own this whole plotline, so nobody better steal it.

**Warning**: This story involves homosexual relationships, so do _not_ read if you are offended. This story will be Troy/Ryan. If you don't like, don't read.

**Summary**: Troy Bolton has never really cared for Ryan Evans or bothered to know him. However, when they go on a community service trip to Vietnam and are roommates, will they find friendship and love?

**Author's Note**: See, I noticed there was a lack of Troy/Ryan fictions. This _is_ my first fiction. So I decided to send them on a community service project to Vietnam. Why Vietnam? Ok, first I'm Vietnamese, so I have some cultural awareness. Also, I've traveled there, so I could provide adequate description. I _also_ wanted to be able to portray my story and also teach a valuable lesson of how people are suffering over there. So I hope you enjoy, and please review. (I would like to thank SketchyGhost for editing my first draft for me. Check out his stories in the section _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody_).

Ok, I was removed for those who wondered where I was. The Fanfiction staff didn't tell me why; I was just booted off and left confused. I decided it was because some of my stories were too graphic. So now I'm posting, but I'm going to check every chapter before I do. I really don't want to be kicked off again. I lost all those reviews from before, so would you _please _review again.

I'm dedicating this chapter to those who supported me: TillThatTime, Mondler4Ever, Kami With a Broken Smile, SteffieEvans26, Sketchy Ghost, and Lizzy. These reviewers helped me get my act back together. Thank you.

Chapter 1:

Troy's POV+

_Shallow._ That's what I've always thought of Ryan Evans. _Shallow, conceited, artificial, overly-dramatic_. That's what I'm still thinking now as I'm looking out this glass window of the plane, trying not to breathe in the weird fake air in here. I hate fake air. There's nothing to see, really, so I'm thinking instead, I guess. Ryan Evans. Why don't I like him? Well, it really doesn't help that he's blonde, part of the drama club, wears weird clothes, and is related to Sharpay Evans, the most annoying girl in the history of East High.

See, Sharpay has liked me since Kindergarten—which is as far as my memory goes. I still remember when she would wear her frilly pink princess costume and dance around saying that _I _was her Prince Charming. _I _just wanted to know what kind of parents would name their kid "Sharpay." Everybody—in first grade—called her Sharpie, and she went home and cried. In fourth and fifth, she spread rumors that I was her "boyfriend," so no girls talked to me. She wouldn't shut up for a second in Middle School about how "dedicated" and "amazingly talented" I was. So, I hate Sharpay _and_ I hate Ryan. I mean, how different can he be from his sister? They're _twins!_

I freaked out when, after graduating from Small Steps School, that went from Kindergarten to 8th, Sharpay came after me to East High! I guess I should've known that she was going to East though—well, I mean, the oldest Evans kid—Matt Evans—went there. He was a basketball legend—he owned the game. It's sort of weird that Ryan has the athletic ability of about a piñata—while his brother was amazing. One thing Ryan _can_ do, however, is run. Yeah, I was sort of surprised too—he runs really fast, so he's joined the track team. This _is_ probably the only thing he can do besides drama.

Oh, that's another thing. Drama. Ryan and Sharpay are the most overly-dramatic kids in this world. They've been dramatic since Kindergarten, and they're still dramatic now when we're in our _senior _year. The Drama Duo, that's what they call them. I laughed my head off the first time I heard that name. Might as well be the Dork Duo. Now, I get out of there as fast as I can when I hear that name.

You have to admit, it's sort of weird that Ryan and Sharpay got all the main roles in every single play, including third grade's _Cinderella_ and fourth's _The Sound of Music_. You also have to say that it's sort of weird that they star in everyone _together_, even if it's a _love_ scene. I mean all the plays that Kelsi directs has some sort of romance, and they got every single role—well until Gabriella and I beat them last year.

Ooh, Gabriella. That's someone to talk about. Well, after she and I got the main roles, we were dating. _That's_ when I started to realize how much I'd not seen of her—stuff I didn't exactly like. She was all snobby and conceited. I guess it was because she was pretty. It's sort of hard to get past someone's beauty and see what's inside them. I never saw how really shallow she was, but when I did, I broke up with her. She is now officially my _ex_-girlfriend.

Wait, back to Ryan. Oh yeah, he's blonde. I hate blonde hair color—mainly because I've associated blonde hair with Sharpay since Kindergarten, so being blonde doesn't help Ryan. It's not _his_ fault, I know—I mean, his whole family is blonde.

And his clothes are just weird. I know I shouldn't be talking—with my clothes being varsity jackets and jeans and stuff, but Ryan's clothes are sort of strange. I bet that he doesn't even have a t-shirt. He always wears these weird long-sleeved button-up collared shirts that are all strange colors. I mean, do you know a guy that has a bright, high-lighter green shirt? Or how about a dark purple one? Do you know a guy that has a perfectly matching hat for every single shirt he has? Ok, you might, but not too many. I think his fashion choice is just weird.

Ryan Evans is strange. That's what I've thought all my life, and that's what I'm still thinking in my senior year.

Talking about my senior year, let's get back to why I'm on a plane. Principal Hatsui thought that East High needed to do community service. Mrs. Darbus came up with this idea of shipping us halfway around the world to do it. When I heard about it, I just wanted to know why couldn't we go to Mexico?

I know why, I'm not stupid, but I just don't want to admit it. Mexico was the trip last year—for the juniors. Actually, we went to Tijuana, but it's in Mexico, so yeah. So basically Principal Hatsui, listened to Mrs. Darbus, and now we're on a plane to Vietnam where we're going to spend a month helping out at places like orphanages.

Only the senior class is going—well, those that can afford to go. It was easy for me to go—well I mean, my dad's Captain Jack Bolton, the basketball coach. I didn't really want to go, but since my dad teaches and everything, it's sort of expected for me to go. Besides, my dad got a discount, so he forked over the money, and now I'm no a plane to Vietnam, a country I can't even locate on a map.

Who else is here? I stand up and glance around. Well _there's_ Gabriella, who's sitting with Sharpay. They're actually really good friends now. Well it figures since they're both artificial conceited people. Kelsi is sitting with Taylor—two girls that I actually like in our senior class. There's a girl I think is named Susan sitting with this other girl that I don't know, Chad, Zeke, Jason, and this skater named Alan. Not too many people went, because mainly they couldn't afford to pay for a trip to Vietnam. See, Kelsi's family managed to send her, basically because they want her to have fun and a good time. Chad's family was able to pay for it, Zeke's and Jason's too—and I'm guessing Alan's because he's on the plane. Ryan and Sharpay have absolutely _no_ problem with money, seeing that their dad owns this hotel company and their mom owns a fashion line that's really successful right now.

I'm looking at them—all of them. They're all talking and flirting and laughing, and somehow I feel like they're like in a snow globe or something and I'm not part of it. I mean, Zeke is talking to Sharpay, and Sharpay's laughing. He pulls out this bag of heart shaped cookies with red heart-shaped sprinkles on them. Yeah, Sharpay and Zeke are dating. I was sort of mad at him—not because I _liked_ having Sharpay chase me everywhere, but because Zeke can do better than her. He doesn't need to be going out with such a stupid girl, but when I talk to him, I can't convince him otherwise. I guess he sees something in her that I don't. Taylor and Chad are together, and I'm happy for them because they really care about each other. I mean, Taylor is explaining some weird scientific thing to Chad, and Chad, who goes to sleep every single science class is actually looking interested. Kelsi calls them a "cute couple" and I truly hate that phrase. Not that Kelsi's doing so bad herself. I look over at her, and there she is with Jason, pushing back her light brown hair. Jason kisses her, and I bet that through her glasses, her eyes are all happy and excited. Gabriella's single, but she's talking to Alan. I'm not jealous or anything—I'm definitely single. And so is Ryan… hey, where is Ryan?

Oh, there's a blonde kid practically falling down the aisle. Figures.

Ryan's pulling two carry-on bags along: one's hot pink and the other's this weird turquoise. That's another reason why Ryan's sort of weird. Sure, he and Sharpay are twins, but does he really like being her bellboy?

"Hey Evans," I call, "are those _all_ your clothes? It said to pack _lightly_, you know."

I really don't know why I said that. I guess I'm just sort of in a bad mood, and seeing him isn't making me any happier.

Ryan gives me this dirty look and hands the backpack to Sharpay. He walks over to me. I think he's about to say some comeback, but instead he pulls out his ticket. "17C. I'm next to you."

I'm trying, honestly, not to show my horror. Out of all the people I could have sat next to, I end up next to him. I'm going to sit next to him for 17 hours! This is going to be a very _long_ ride. Mrs. Darbus rigged it, I bet. I always knew she was out to get me.

"Hey, are you going to move or not?" Ryan asks. Then I realize I'm standing where he's supposed to sit.

"Sorry," I say, moving over to my seat. 17D.

"It's ok," says Ryan, looking like he means it. I'm sort of surprised. I'd never think that he'd be so genuinely real, because Sharpay would probably make this overly dramatic groan or something, but then I realize in the thirteen years that I've known Ryan Evans, I've probably never said more than 500 words to him. I've said plenty to Sharpay, but I've always just sort of assumed that Ryan was just like her.

Ryan gets in, pushes his backpack under his seat, and sits down. He smiles, sort of this lopsided, easy-going smile that makes me think that maybe Ryan Evans isn't so bad. This _almost_ makes me ignore the completely ridiculous outfit he's wearing. He has this long-sleeved, collared, button-up sky blue shirt and a perfectly matching hat, along with these light khaki pants. I notice the blue shirt brings out the blue in his eyes… wait, what am I saying? You would think that the kid could wear normal clothes when he was going to be on the plane for 17 hours. I bet he doesn't own a t-shirt. Can't he ever wear something normal?

Looking over at Sharpay, I realize the answer's no. Sharpay's wearing this weird frilly looking white shirt and a fancy looking skirt—a really expensive looking outfit. I glance down at what I'm wearing—a gray Volcom Stone t-shirt, jeans, and my Rainbow sandals, and feel poor sitting next to Ryan.

"Ahem," comes a voice. Everybody looks up. Mrs. Darbus, who's in charge of this whole community service thing, is standing in the aisle, getting ready to make a speech. "You all have been brought here," she says, adjusting her glasses. "We will be landing in Ho Chi Minh City, known to the inhabitants," (she pronounces "inhabitants" and "Ho Chi Minh City" wrong), "as Saigon." (She pronounces Saigon wrong too). "There, we will rest for a night at our hotel—all the arrangements have been made—wake up, and have breakfast. We will then go straight to the orphanage and learn about our surroundings. Then, for the next few weeks, we will have opportunities to sight-see and other activities, but we will mainly we working at the orphanage, helping out and thus fulfilling East High's standards of community service." She brandishes her hands in a large gesture, and I roll my eyes at Ryan, who gives me the same easy smile again. "You will all be needing a so-called 'buddy' who will _also_ be your roommate—two people are staying in each room. I have partnered you up with people you may not know so well, and people that you _do_ know well.

"Gabriella Montez, you will be rooming with Sharpay Evans. Kelsi Swift, your buddy shall be Taylor McKessie. Chad Danforth, you will be rooming with Zeke Rayanson. Alan Martin, your roommate is Jason Kassic. Susan White, your buddy is Jessica Roberts. Troy Bolton, you are staying with Ryan Evans. Kelly Starn, you are staying with…"

What? _What?_ I'm spending the next month with _Ryan Evans?_ I don't even know him! I told you she rigged it! I always knew Mrs. Darbus was a bit crazy.

xxx

Ryan's POV+

I suck in a deep breath. _Troy Bolton?_ I'm spending the next month with _Troy Bolton?_

Ok, I have nothing against him—I actually think he's a pretty ok guy—but I haven't said almost anything to him, even though I've known him since Kindergarten! Well, I don't really know anybody in my grade that well—Shar makes sure of that. I'm always carrying her stuff around and practicing for plays and stuff.

Troy pushes his brown hair out of his eyes, and I can see he's sort of frustrated. I feel bad, because he really looks like he doesn't want to be with me, and my heart sort of sinks.

I've never really had a friend—I'm not exactly what anybody would call popular. Shar made sure of that. People take one look at "Stuck-up Sharpay", and decide I'm just the same as her. After all, I _am_ her twin.

Sharpay's not exactly conceited or anything, but she just can be a bit rude, so she seems that way. Nobody bothers to get to know her, and so nobody bothers to get to know me either. I get nervous around people I don't know anyway. So all my life, I've just been in Sharpay's shadow. I've always been just "Sharpay's brother", something that's stuck to me since I was in Kindergarten.

An announcement from the pilot says we're about to take off, and I can feel my stomach turn over. I've always been afraid of flying. See, Matt wouldn't be afraid. Matt would _never_ be afraid, not my parents' favorite son, no. Matt is so different from me, so we never really got along. I mean, he's the jock and I'm the drama kid. My parents wanted me to be like the athlete, but it wasn't happening. I probably have the worst hand-eye coordination in the whole school. See, since my parents are really rich, they never spend time with us kids, that's why I'm always with Sharpay, since she likes drama too. See, Shar's special because she's the oldest girl in the Evans family. I just sort of stand there, overshadowed by all she's accomplished. Hillary, our six-year-old sister, is the baby of the family, so that's her position.

The plane starts moving faster—I can feel the wheels on the runway—and I feel more nervous, the palms of my hands starting to get all sweaty. I look over at Troy, with his brown hair in his eyes again, and over at Sharpay, who looks completely calm. I know she's hiding it though. She's just as afraid as planes as I am. The wheels tuck in and the plane's going up in the air, and I can't help it anymore. I grab on hard to Troy's hand and squeeze it until we're at a regular pace in the air. See, I always do that with Sharpay—it's one of the things she actually understands and doesn't get bothered by. The pounding in my ears stop, and I pull my hands away from Troy, only then realizing how strong and perfect they are.

Troy looks at me, his electrifying dark blue eyes sort of freaking me out.

"I-I'm sorry," I say, my voice shaking. I really need to say this. "I've just always been sort of afraid of flying…"

Great. I've been on this plane for ten minutes, and the person who's going to be my partner for the next month is going to think I'm a pathetic coward.

"Don't worry, it's really ok," says Troy in this understanding voice. I can feel my ears turn red. I really don't want or need his pity. I just want him to forget that just happened.

"It's just that…" I break off. "My cousin, Josh, died in an airplane crash. He was my favorite cousin too…" Why am I telling him this? This is stuff I don't even share with Sharpay, but I feel like I have to explain somehow so he doesn't think I'm such a wimp.

"I'm sorry man, I understand," Troy says, looking like he's really sorry. "My uncle got in a car accident with his kids, and I didn't want to get in the car for three months, until my dad got tired of walking me to school everyday," he says, laughing weakly, attempting to make a joke out of it so that I won't feel so embarrassed.

"Yeah," I say, with a small smile. It doesn't really work, but I'm thankful he tried.

There's an awkward silence. Neither of us know what to say, and we just sit there, staring blankly at our hands.

With a small noise of embarrassment, Troy pulls his iPod out of his gray carry-on backpack, and occupies himself by listening to his music. He starts singing along to the lyrics, sort of quietly to himself. It's sort of hard not to sing along to your iPod when you're listening to it, you know, and he's not really bad to listen to. He has a really nice voice, actually. "_Are you ready? Show me what you've got… are you ready? Are you with me or not?_" I recognize the song—_Are You Ready_, by Hazen Street.

Feeling sort of unoriginal, but not knowing what to do, I pull out my iPod mini, which is silver, and choose a song. Pretty soon I'm singing too—Relient K's _Let It All Out_, a really amazing song.

It's only when I finish that I realize Troy Bolton is staring hard—right at me.

Troy's POV+

I don't really realize how increasingly loud my voice has become until I notice I can't hear anybody else talking. I stop singing, and glance over at Ryan after pulling out one of my headphones. Ryan's holding a silver iPod mini, singing softly to a song. Ugh, what an original kid.

I looked away disgustedly, about to put my headphone back in my ear and listen to Hazen Street again, but then stop. There's something about the way Ryan is singing that makes me want to listen—I don't know the song, but something about the lyrics captures my attention.

Ryan's singing quietly, looking out somewhere else—I'm not exactly sure where, but I don't feel like asking him either. "_Let it all out…get it all out…rip it out, remove it…don't be alarmed…when the wound begins to bleed…_"

I find myself moved in a way that Hazen Street or any other music has never been able to do.

"_Cause we're so scared to find out…what this life's all about…so scared we're going to lose it…not knowing all along…that's exactly what we need…_"

The melody's soft, slow, and sweet, and I feet myself being captured and enveloped by the music—by Ryan's lilting voice hitting all the notes perfectly. Ryan's always been a better singer than me—I'll admit that. Gabriella, however, is better than Sharpay.

"_And today I will trust you with the confidence…of a man who's never known defeat…but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did…I will stare at you in disbelief…oh, inconsistent me…crying out for consistency…_

"_And you said I know that this will hurt…but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse…if the burden seems too much to bear…remember…the end will justify the pain it took to get us there_…"

How can he _do_ that? I've never noticed how different Ryan is from Sharpay, and I'm sort of starting to regret it. Sharpay can't sing like this—she doesn't have the capacity or the _emotion_. She's a practice and get better student. This is pure, genuine talent.

"_And I'll let it be known…at times I have shown…signs of all my weakness…but somewhere in me…there is strength…_

"_And you promise me…that you believe…in time I will defeat this…cause somewhere in me…there is strength…"_

How could I have not seen it before? Ryan is a different person than Sharpay—a completely different one. He's easy-going and compassionate. Just because his sister acts so artificial and snobby, doesn't mean that Ryan is. He'd just always been stuck in his sister's shadow, and he needs to find his way out.

"_And today I will trust you with the confidence…of a man who's never known defeat…and I'll try my best to just forget…that man isn't me_

"_Reach out to me…make my heart brand new…every beat will be for you…for you…  
and I know you know...you touched my life...when you touched my heavy heart and made it light..."_

Ryan's POV+

I finish and break off with a start. "Oh…" I said, looking at Troy. "Did I bother you?" I can feel my face flame with embarrassment.

"No," Troy says. "You have a really good voice, did you know that?"

My ears turn red again. "Not really," I say, trying not to show how pleased I am that Troy likes my voice. God, why can't I just say "thank you?" What's wrong with me?

Troy grins. "Don't be modest—I know you know."

I shake my head, a small smile escaping.

"Who was that?"

"What? Oh, the song? That was _Let It All Out_ by Relient K, my favorite band."

"I thought they were sort of just a boy band."

"Not really, they have great lyrics."

"Well, I learn something new everyday," Troy grins, his eyes all alive. "So, Ryan, what other music do you like?"

I give Troy my iPod, and Troy scrolls through my songs. "Relient K, Sum 41, Hazen Street—oh, I was just listening to _Are You Ready_, Jesse McCartney?" He looks hard at me.

I grin, trying not to show my embarrassment. Jesse McCartney has been my idol ever since he was twelve and joined _Dreamstreet_. He has this amazing way of showing compassion and love, and still looking friendly. I don't know why, but I can't tell Troy that. I think he'd look at me weird like he was embarrassed to know me, like the time I told Matt that."He makes me laugh," I say, silently apologizing to Jesse. Oh, God.

Troy listens to one of the songs—_She's No You_.

"Yeah, you're right," he says, after listening for about thirty seconds. "He's funny."

Troy's not so bad. Well, I've never really known him. I guess I'll get to know him once we reach Vietnam. I hope we'll get to know each other better then… after all, we _are_ spending a month together.

**Author's Note**: Ok, you all need to go and listen to _Let It All Out_ by Relient K. It's truly an amazing song. They're a talented band, really. Anyway, please review for more. I won't post until I get more reviews. Constructive criticism is welcome too, but no flames please. (I personally think this chapter was pretty clean).

Oh, I named this story _Tainted Promise_, for those of you who didn't notice.

-Miss Lovely a.k.a. Falling With Grace


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: I got an amazing _seven_ reviews, ok, I'll be honest—I was hoping for a little more. Oh, the disclaimer again—I don't own any merchandise I posted here, ok? Vietnam really looks like this, by the way. It's a beautiful country. I'm glad you enjoyed, please read and review some more. I would really like to thank those reviewers who continued to support me. Second chapter, glad you like. Review.

**Warning**: This story involves homosexual relationships, so do _not_ read if you are offended. This story will be Troy/Ryan. If you don't like, don't read.

**Summary**: Troy Bolton has never really cared for Ryan Evans or bothered to know him. However, when they go on a community service trip to Vietnam and are roommates, will they find friendship and love?

**Crimsonred1989**: Really? Thanks. I had a whole lot of reviews before it got removed, haha. Here's an update for you.

**J. Ray**: Yes, I am back. Thanks for reviewing; I want to "regain" my lost reviews. Thanks for the welcome, haha. Love the title? Yes, that's what I was hoping. Posting right now, love.

**Braids21**: Yes, I'm back. Haha, you re-read it. Yes! Anyway, next chapter. Review for the third.

**AnimeGirl23**: Yes, I'm back. I know, I got removed and I was pretty mad. I'm really proud of the support I've gotten, and I really appreciate it. I'd like to regain my reviews slowly, haha. Aww, thanks, I'm glad you like my story. Here's an update.

**Mondler4Ever**: Yes! One of my old reviewers. Yeah, I'm reposting. I love being added to favorites. It makes me feel so special.

**DarkPhoenix1987**: Aww, thanks. A lot of people thought so before I got busted off.

**Disney-Kid**: Yes, I am back. You're welcome, I suppose, though I'm really the one who'd like to say thank you for reviewing. Here's an update.

Chapter 2:

Ryan's POV+

If there has _ever_ been a time when I wanted to kill Troy Bolton, _this_ is it. So I _didn't_ think he was so bad, right? I mean, we talked for awhile. I accidentally let some things slip about how I feel worthless in my family, and he tried to make me feel better, telling me about how his dad always wanted him to be the "basketball guy" and he always wanted to be something more. It helped me sort of understand that he deserved that drama part more than we did—Sharpay wouldn't ever listen though, even if I told her the way he told me. We had lunch, which was some sort of rice thing with some sort of meat—I've never cared for airplane food, and then we decided to watch TV.

Yeah, _this_ plane? The channels are awesome. I mean, they have _so_ many.

I watched a show for about five minutes, until I realized they were talking in Chinese, so I switched to a different one. Troy laughed at me, and my ears turned red—_again. _They had Nick Jr. and Cartoon Network for the little kids. I settled on watching MTV, with this episode where Jesse McCartney was being punk'd. Anyway, Troy was watching the Food Network, (don't look at me), _I_ was just trying not to show how happy I was that Jesse McCartney was on TV. I didn't notice anything, until I realized that the roaring sound I heard wasn't coming from the motorcycles that Jesse McCartney's car "accidentally" crashed into. I pulled out my headphones, and I looked over at Troy, who was snoring like a train. I swear. I guess he couldn't stay up long enough for Rachael Ray to finish her thirty minute meal.

So _then_, I put my headphones back in my ears and turned up the volume. Guess what? Troy's snores _still_ could be heard over the volume which was up at the highest level! I mean, his snores were all like "agggggggggggggg" and "urggghhhhhhhh." He snores even louder than Matt—and _that_ is an accomplishment.

I really didn't want to wake him up because he might have been angry. So that explains why I'm still sitting here, listening to him snore.

Oh God, I'm really tired. I really need to go to sleep. If only Troy wasn't snoring so loud—I've always kind of been a light sleeper. I'm probably going to _die_ in Vietnam. He's going to keep me up _every_ night.

I look over at him. He looks so young when he's asleep, like a little kid, but I guess everybody looks younger when they're sleeping. He's so gorgeous that it sort of makes up for the way he snores. Yeah, I'm gay—I've been gay since I was a freshman, but I've never told anybody, well, nobody except Sharpay. She didn't really care—that made sure I wouldn't star with some other girl in a drama production. I used to have a huge crush on Troy when we were sophomores, but he didn't pay _any_ attention to me at all, so I just stopped liking him. And besides, it was awkward liking the same guy that your twin sister liked. But now, as I'm looking at his beautiful, flawless skin, I can feel old feelings creeping up again.

God he's so beautiful—I bet he could model for American Eagle or something. I pull off my hat and plug in the headphones. Let's just listen to music. I don't want my heart to be broken, because he's straight anyway, isn't he? Well, I mean he _was_ going out with Gabriella and everything. He broke up with her though… oh God, I can't get my hopes up, so I'm going back to my music. I find this classical channel—yeah, classical can calm me sometimes, and I close my eyes to lose myself in the music…

Troy's POV+

I groan softly, and move. Something's on my shoulder. I open one eye sleepily—yeah, this plane ride can really put a person out—and then, shocked, I open the other eye.

Now I'm sitting all straight, trying to do anything, _but_ move. Ryan's sleeping on my shoulder, his blonde head resting on it. I'm trying to ignore the fact that he looks pretty cute without his hat on—not that I have a thing for guys or anything, but uh… forget it. What am I talking about? I _hate_ blonde hair.

I move, trying to position myself in a way that I _won't_ wake Ryan up, but so my shoulder won't go to sleep either. Ryan makes this weird "ummh" noise and he stirs a little, but keeps on sleeping. He looks so little and vulnerable, and somehow I feel like I have to protect him from everything.

I pull out my headphones and start switching channels around on the TV. I'm _never_ watching the food channel again if I can help it—I went to sleep listening to that Giada Italian lady babble on, and that old Southern lady! Oh my God, how can you make _one_ pan of brownies with _eight_ sticks of butter?

I decide to watch Nick Jr., (hey, I've always had a thing for _Dora the Explorer_, ok?). Anyway, basically Dora goes on this huge journey to save Humpty Dumpty or something, and by the time I've realized that Dora has a cousin named Diego who has his _own_ show, the pilot is announcing that we're almost in Vietnam. I honestly can't wait, I'm so excited. There's _no _way I'm sleeping tonight—well we _are_ in a completely different time zone.

Ryan mutters a little and moves closer to me. I can smell his hair, which smells like watermelon and cucumbers in a weird way. Did I mention that watermelon is my favorite fruit and cucumbers are my favorite vegetables?

When the pilot stops talking, (actually he screams really loudly), over the intercom, Ryan starts moving and he wakes up. He pulls away from my shoulder, really nervously, and his face turns all red. "Sorry," he mutters.

I'm trying to get rid of the fact that I think he's cute when his face colors and that my shoulder really feels empty without his head on it. I'm also trying not to let _my_ face turn red because I was smelling his hair to get that watermelon and cucumber smell. "It's ok."

"So we're almost there?" he rubs his eyes sleepily, and I'm trying to ignore the fact that his face is really beautiful. He has these blue eyes and these really pink lips, and this really clean skin that is zit-free.

It takes me awhile to answer his question. "What? Oh, yeah."

What is _wrong_ with me? I _don't_ like guys, I like girls! I mean, I look at girls, I talk to girls, my stomach feels queasy when I talk to girls, but Ryan is making my heart turn inside out! Ugh, I glance away from him, trying not to let him know that I know that my face is burning.

Luckily, the plane starts a descent, and soon the ground is rattling underneath us. We're here.

We get all out stuff—Mrs. Darbus is howling at us—and we manage to get off the plane. I don't really feel like talking about all the stuff—we mainly got all our suitcases from the conveyor belt without too many fights, (well _Zeke_ ended up carrying all of Sharpay's stuff, so Ryan only had to hold his own stuff), and we go outside to wait for the tour guide bus to pick us up. I'm smiling, even though I'm completely drained form the plane ride and have to go to the bathroom really bad, because we're here. We're here. Vietnam.

Ryan's POV+

We got off the plane and now we're standing outside waiting for the tour guide to pick us all up. Mrs. Darbus is walking back and forth, staring hard at her watch, because the tour guide is like four minutes late.

I don't really blame him. Ok, it is _pouring_ outside, the rain's dripping everywhere, and we're all standing under this big roof watching the rain come down like crazy. I never knew it rained so much—I wouldn't have known that we were in Vietnam, but a few things tip me off.

First, even though everything's completely wet, it's _burning_ outside, like I just stepped out into an oven. This is the hottest weather I've ever been in my whole life, and Mrs. Darbus is telling us this is probably the coldest it will be here when we're in Vietnam. I've only been standing out here for like, what, four minutes, and my shirt is sticking to my back with sweat. Sharpay is fanning herself like crazy with some cheap fan she bought from this lady right now and she's looking all flustered because sweat is glistening on her cheeks. She's _also_ making Zeke fan her, and the poor guy looks like he's going to pass out. "Oh my God, I'm _not_ sweating," Sharpay's going on right now, while Gabriella is just trying to tie up her hair so no more sweat gathers on it—long hair is _not_ good when it's hot outside. Kelsi is spraying herself with one of those water fans, and Jason is trying to steal it from her. _Everybody_ is sweating like crazy—I pull off my hat, and the whole rim of the thing is covered with sweat. I deciding never to wear my hat again, and I notice the whole armpit area of my shirt is covered in sweat—I really should have worn a t-shirt or shorts or something. Troy's wearing this Volcom Stone shirt that's so sweaty that it looks like he went swimming in it. He's slapping away at the mosquitoes—yeah, the mosquitoes are already biting us like crazy—demonstrated by Chad running around spraying bug-spray all over himself, while Taylor's laughing. Troy grins at me and tells me that Chad's afraid of bugs. Wow, Troy, I never would have guessed.

The second reason why I know we're in Vietnam is because of all the Vietnamese people. No offense, but I feel _awkward_ in a completely Asian society—I know it's stupid, I mean, _what_ was I thinking? Everybody was going to be _white?_ People are staring at us—wow, you should see these people, they're not even sweating they're so used to the heat—mainly at Chad with his bug-spray. Anyway, I feel really odd, but that's another reason why I known I'm not in America anymore.

Ok, the bus has arrived, and this guy comes out. He gets out of the bus, and before he says anything, Mrs. Darbus is screaming at him, "Why are you late? Can't you get here on time?"

The poor guy pushes back his thick black hair and apologizes to her. Then, in a strained voice and a slight accent, he manages to say, "Hello. My name is Vinh, and I am going to be your tour guide in Vietnam. Please hand the suitcases to Giao," he indicates the bus driver, "and get on the bus. I will take you to the hotel and tomorrow I will take you to the orphanages, ok?"

He gets on the bus and mutters something to Giao who climbs out of the bus and starts helping us load all our suitcases. Sharpay doesn't even help the poor guy—she just gets on the bus complaining about how her hair is all wet now. Troy, Chad, Jason, and I get down and help Giao load the suitcases, and pretty soon we're finished and on the bus.

Everybody ends up sitting with somebody, but I just sit down by myself—some weird kid named Fulton sits next to me. Vinh explains to us on the way about Vietnam—why the buildings are all stacked up on each other because it's a skinny country, so there's not too much room, how the people mainly get by on bicycles and motorcycles, and how most people are either extremely rich or extremely poor. I feel weird, like I'm some extremely rich kid now—which I guess I sort of am.

The only thing that sort of amazes me so far though is how the people cross the streets. They don't have street lights so everybody just sort of walks when they want and the cars and the motorcycles and the bicycles just all go at the same time. The people who ride the bicycles ride like crazy to keep up with the rest of the traffic. The traffic just goes—some people drive really fast and the other people just walk and not one person gets hit. It's one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen.

Anyway, I've only been here for like half an hour, and I'm already in love with this place. There's so much life, so much culture.

I really can't wait, and I'm still thinking about it as we get off and go into the hotel.

Troy's POV+

Ok, we check into this hotel—it's pretty nice, and Ryan and I get our room. Mrs. Darbus made sure _all_ of our rooms were on the same floor, but she said that if any of us went to each other's rooms—well, more like the girls go to the guys' rooms or visa-versa—she'd put us on a plane and send us back to America.

We believe her too, so we don't try it. At least not on the first night.

Anyway, Ryan and I open the door to our room—it's an ok size—and we pull our stuff in and drop it on the ground. There's a pull-out couch and a pretty nice bathroom. Not the greatest place I've ever been, but not the worst either. The one thing that sort of freaks me out, even though it _shouldn't_, is that there's only _one_ bed. That means Ryan and I are going to have to sleep _together_ in the same bed unless I sleep on the couch or something, which I really don't feel like doing.

Anyway, I'm pretty tired—yeah, I know I said I wouldn't be able to go to sleep, but now I'm tired, ok? So I get ready to change—_yes_, I _do_ have pajamas, I'm not some kind of caveman—and so I open my suitcase and dig through it. Some jeans, a lot of shorts, a lot of t-shirts, and one light sweater, until I find my pajama pants. They're these blue ones, so I just put them on along with a white t-shirt. I just change right there in the room and I don't feel awkward or anything until I realize Ryan's staring at me.

My face turns all red, and I look over at him only to see _his_ face turn red too. He rips open his suitcase and starts going through all his clothes. His clothes draw my attention off _him_ for a second.

Ok, a _whole_ bunch of long, collared shirts, long pants, and, I can't believe it! T-shirts and shorts! I never would have imagined that Ryan Evans owned a t-shirt.

He pulls on his pajamas—which are like mine, basically, except his t-shirt is this dark blue one that has "New York" written on it surrounded by these little rhinestone things. I try not to notice how the t-shirt fits all tightly over his thin frame.

Yeah, Ryan Evans? He's _skinny._ It's not in an unhealthy way, but he's just sort of skinny and lanky—I'm taller than him though, and bigger with a more muscular build.

Ok, since I feel weird talking about my body frame, I'm going to change the subject. I walk in, and pull out my toothbrush and brush my teeth casually. _Ryan_, however, brushes his teeth for like _five _minutes. He keeps on brushing and brushing and brushing, and stops when I look at him weird. He _washes_ his face too—hey, don't look at me, _I _wash my face, but not _that_ thoroughly, with all this special soap. Then I notice how white and clean his skin is and how white and even his teeth are.

I _don't_ know what's happening to me, so I climb into the bed and tell Ryan I'm going to go to sleep. It's not long before he joins me. I consider going to sleep on the couch, but he makes sure to leave like a foot of distance between us, so it's ok.

I don't go to sleep until I hear his soft breaths—I sort of snore loudly and I don't want to bug him—and then I close my eyes and go to sleep, whispering before I do, "Good night, Ryan." I feel like a dork saying it, but somehow, I feel like it's the right thing to do, and from the soft breaths, I guess he does too.

_Thanks you guys. Here's an update, review for Chapter 3 because as soon as I get the whole story up, the sooner I can start writing the next chapter. I'm going to try to get up at least one a day, but that's only if I get reviews, so review please._


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Yeah, ok, I got some more reviews, so I'm happy. I'd still like more, so if you _do_ like my story, send it and recommend it to everybody so I'll get more and I'll be happier, haha. This chapter is sort of fluffy and shallow, but I guess it's good. Tell me what you think. I hope you enjoy. Ooh, I _still_ don't own a whole lot of the companies and things you shall see in this, but I _do _own the plotline.

**Warning**: This story involves homosexual relationships, so do _not_ read if you are offended. This story will be Troy/Ryan. If you don't like, don't read.

**Summary**: Troy Bolton has never really cared for Ryan Evans or bothered to know him. However, when they go on a community service trip to Vietnam and are roommates, will they find friendship and love?

**TillThatTime**: Yes, I'm back and my story's back! Wow, is it really your favorite? I feel so honored. Thanks, I love your comments, and I'd _love _to do co-writing with you because your story is definitely my favorite Troy/Ryan story on this website—way up there with _To Disembark_ by OCP and _Skittles_ by playmaker00. Actually, yours _is _my favorite Troy/Ryan. Aww, thanks. I know, some people want to rush ahead so they can get in all the fluffy slashiness, but I wanted to keep all the emotions which is why my story moves rather slowly. I'm doing a sequel though. I inspire you? _You inspire me_.

**SteffieEvans26**: It's ok, some people get lazy sometimes. Not pointing any fingers of course. Haha, I know I have a lot to post still, but I'm trying to get up a chapter a day, so keep reviewing and I'll keep posting. I want to "regain" my reviews. Ok, I know I'm selfish. Yeah, I guess some of my material was too graphic. Oh well, I'm back, and I won't be gone unless someone reports me.

**Crimsonred1989**: I'm glad you like it; I wanted to have an original plotline. It's ok, some people missed it.

**mordechaimalachai**: Yes, I am back, and I really am grateful for your support. Aww, thanks. I'm glad you think I'm a "great slasher." That's what I was planning to do about the sex scene—I don't want to be kicked off _again._ Yay! Thanks, lovey. I missed you and I knew you'd review. You should get an account—they're rather convenient because you can get alerted on when a story has been updated and add authors to your favorites and stuff. I'm glad you like the title, and I'm glad you like my penname. Miss Lovely was overrated, haha. I'll take your suggestions into mind, but I'm rather lazy, so I probably won't be editing anything. Maybe—if I really don't like something, but most likely not. What exactly is food sex? Care to explain? Anyway, I'm not posting the sex scene, seeing that's what probably got me busted in the first place. I'll just have people e-mail me if they want to read it. I'll update right now, lovey.

**KamiWithaBrokenSmile**: KAAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIII! Yes I'm back and you're back. ((hugs)) Aww, I missed you! Ah, I would have died if you died—you are my favorite reviewer, love! Oh, your dog did? Oh well, dogs do that, but I'm so impressed that you almost killed her because of me! Haha, you know you could have just emailed me and I'd have sent it to you because after all you're my favorite reviewer. Yay, be happy for your boyfriend and I'll be posting to keep you happy forever because I love you so much. (You have a _boyfriend? _Eeh, I'm jealous… currently _single _and have never been in a relationship before. Hmmm… must have something to do with these stories I write… haha, one would think I like gay guys. Hmmm….) I'm sorry you weren't the first reviewer. I should have told you, but I'd figure you'd find out, but then I decided to drop a hint. Eeeh, I don't want to be a slave. Oh well, I guess I'll be your little Asian slave, the Vietnamese person that I am. Your original stuff? Where? Show me and I'll definitely read because you're my favorite girl.

**ZacEfronLuver**: Update here.

**sharpayxevans**: I'd love to write a story with you dear. Email me with some ideas. And also, I got kicked off from some mature content I believe.

**Mondler4Ever**: Thanks. I appreciate it.

**DarkPhoenix1987**: Why thanks. I hope you keep reading.

**Disney-Kid**: Thanks. I really am grateful for the compliments. I'd love to read your story, just e-mail me. I'll try to edit it and then keep your voice still in it. I have my e-mail up on my profile.

Chapter 3:

Troy's POV+

Ok, I think I may be able to kill Ryan Evans right now, even though I've realized he's not so bad.

The kid woke up at 5:45 in the morning! I don't think he understands the concept of _sleeping in_. I asked him why in the world he woke up so early, (and made me wake up too), and he said he had to do "breathing exercises."

I wanted to punch him. For a second, I almost did. (I was tired, ok? You _have_ to understand that).

So I managed to go back to sleep. Only, he woke me up _again, _this time at 6:00(What _I _wanted to know was, _how _do breathing exercises take fifteen minutes?)

Why? He was singing in the shower. I know he has a great voice and everything, but I wanted to get some sleep.

Anyway, I'm not able to get any sleep whatsoever, and by the time he comes out of the shower, I'm all annoyed and in a bad mood. Ryan comes out with a towel tied around his waist, but he doesn't have any clothes on, and when he realizes that I'm awake, his face turns all red. I notice his skinniness again and how beautiful and pure his skin is.

This shouldn't be happening. It really shouldn't.

I shouldn't be getting embarrassed every time Ryan comes in without a shirt on—it's not something guys should be doing.

Anyway, Ryan dresses pretty quick—and I get to see the true extent of how many clothes he actually packed. Ok, like tons of boxers, (ha, he's a boxers guy, not a briefs guy—I've always liked boxers better myself), a lot of shorts, like three pairs of long pants (which I bet he will _not_ be wearing on this trip), some long-sleeved collared shirts, and some t-shirts. He pulls on some clothes, (I notice that his boxers are Burberry—you know how much those things cost? I know because I have wanted a pair of those for _forever _but have never had the money for them), including a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, that is… _normal._ It's a light brown Element t-shirt with words strewn all around it and a couple of pretty cool looking designs. (_I'd_ buy it, but I've been told that blue is my color, not brown). I'm shocked. I really am.

Ryan Evans—normal? Somehow those words never went together for me. Sure, of course his shirt looks like one of those that a girl might wear, but I have never seen him wear a brand name that is not extremely expensive.

Anyway, looking at the rest of his t-shirts, I have derived this. He's the good, polite, classic boy who wears all the brand label t-shirts with the intense designs—you know, the types with words written all over them or some special graphic.

"I like your shirt," I say to him, wondering why my voice sounds all wheezy and gaspy.

"Thanks," he says, blushing softly again.

This is too deep for me. I go and take a shower. That's one thing I understand.

I bring all my clothes to change in the bathroom. I somehow would feel really embarrassed if Ryan saw me. I come out, and Ryan mentions that we should probably put on some sunscreen. He pours out some on my hand in this weird graceful motion that I shouldn't be noticing. Then, he takes some from my palm and starts putting it on my face and arms. He starts rubbing them with the lotion, and for some reason I feel all warm inside, liking the way his fingers run over my body. What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be feeling like this!

Anyway, he finishes rubbing all the sunscreen on me, and I feel sort of empty after he finishes. I put some sunscreen on him, trying to get my heart to stop pounding. I rub the stuff into his arms, trying not to notice how soft and white his skin is, and how much I like feeling it. I try to look at his face to see if _he's _feeling anything, and he's smiling, and his blue eyes flash up at me for a second and my heart turns over. I notice the delicate shape of his chin and how there's this light shadow on his neck from it.

Why is everything all blurry and hazy around him? Why does my heart flip over? There is something wrong with me. Maybe I've got the stomach flu. One thing I'm just trying to convince myself of, so hard, over and over again, is that I'm not in love. I _don't_ have feelings for Ryan. I like _girls_, not _guys._ I'm not gay, I'm straight. I'm not in love. I'm not.

Anyway, I finish putting all the sunscreen on Ryan, and we go down to the lobby—Ryan's wearing one of his hats again, a light brown one—and after we eat breakfast in the lobby—which is pretty uneventful except that Chad eats eleven eggs, and there was some interesting food choices which were actually _really_ good—we get on the bus and head off to the orphanage.

I sit down and Chad slides next to me. I'm trying not to be disappointed that he's not Ryan. I look a couple of rows back and Ryan's sitting with that weird Fulton kid again. All the sudden I want to kill Fulton, and I can feel the jealousy turning in my stomach. I'm glad that Ryan doesn't look too happy though—he's not even talking to Fulton, and for some reason I feel a flood of relief.

"Hey man," Chad says, breaking up my thoughts.

"Hey," I say, sort of half-heartedly.

"Dude, how was Evans?" asks Chad, not seeming to see my disappointment. "Are you ok? Did he do anything to you?" he laughs. "Did he make you sing with him? Did you dance with him? Did you play dress-up?"

I feel like punching Chad hard in the nose.

But I don't. Instead I just laugh and say, "No, it wasn't that bad. He just made me wear a tutu and choose which clothes he should wear for today."

Chad grins.

"No, seriously," I say. "It was good. It was ok—he wasn't as weird as I thought he was. He's actually a pretty cool guy—_and_, yeah, I'm telling the truth… I _swear_, the kid has t-shirts and shorts! Like _normal_ clothes, I saw them—he brought like 10 million though."

Sharpay turns around and gives me a dirty look. Somehow I feel like a piece of gum stuck on someone's shoe.

Why am I caring what Sharpay thinks? I've never cared before.

Something tells me it has something to do with Ryan. Life's sort of changed after Mrs. Darbus paired us up. I guess I just have to wait to see what's coming at me.

Ryan's POV+

Giao stops the bus. We're here.

I'm sort of glad we're at the orphanage now, so I can stop thinking about Troy. I just remember running my fingers over his arms and… oh God, I have to stop. He'll never like me back—he likes _girls_, not _guys._ And if he did like a guy, it wouldn't be me. I liked the way he put the sunscreen on though… oh God, if I could just relive that moment over and over…

_Stop dreaming_, I think. I wish I could, more than anything else. But he blushes every time he sees me—is that a sign?

_Get over yourself, Evans,_ I say to myself. _Why would Troy Bolton like you?_

I am in love with Troy Bolton. I swear. Every time he looks at me, I can feel myself getting embarrassed and my heart shaking. My knees feel all wobbly like the time my family went on that cruise to Greece. I want to sing my heart out for everybody to hear—I want to let him know—let everyone know. But I just stand there, because I can't do that. I can't risk for him to hate me. I can't do it.

Anyway, Giao is telling all of us to get off the bus, and Vinh is explaining that we're going to be helping out at this orphanage in whatever way they need—from taking care of the kids to making food for them. Mrs. Darbus looks at everybody like they better be listening, so we do. Mainly he just says stuff about how we should be sensitive to the culture and that people _will _stare at us because we're white.

Then we get ready to head in. We're all standing next to each other—I'm next to Troy, because we're supposed to be partners or whatever. See, Mrs. Darbus assigned two of us to a job. I wonder what Troy and I are going to have to do.

The building is sort of empty, not like in people, but in structure—it's all hot again, because we're all sweating like crazy, (including, believe it or not, Sharpay). It's made out of like sort of wood, and not really concrete—Vinh tells us that it's sort of costly. There are some kids running around wearing shirts that are too big for them and pants that are too small, and I'm starting to feel spoiled and rich and really uncomfortable. I glance over at Sharpay, and she's doing a good job of pretending she doesn't care, but I can tell she does. The kids are all staring at us, but they're giving us big smiles, so I just smile back and pretend everything's just fine even when it isn't.

Vinh takes us to the kids' rooms which are basically just sort of holes cut into the building, (which doesn't have a roof by the way). It's sort of like an open-door market except there are different parts of it. Oh God, I don't know how to explain it. It's like an open courtyard area with a structure around it and holes cut into the structure. The walls aren't closed—wait, I take that back—well _some_ walls of the rooms are closed, but most of them are open. I guess it doesn't matter anyways because it's so hot here, but I'm wondering what they do when it rains, because they have like a daily shower each day that goes on for like ten minutes and then suddenly stops.

We're looking at the beds now—they have like bunk beds made out of wood. They don't have mattresses—they just sleep right on the hard board without any pillows or anything, which makes me think of my huge bed at home with all the soft pillows. They don't have blankets—I don't think they would need them, but _still_.

Well, right now Mrs. Darbus is telling us what to do. Sharpay and Gabriella have to clean in the kitchen and make the food, Chad and Zeke are taking care of the little boys, Kelsi and Taylor are in charge of taking care of the little girls, Troy and I have to take care of the babies…

Troy and I have to take care of the babies? _WHAT?_

Troy has this huge look of disgust on my face. I'm trying to pretend I'm horrified, but actually I'm ok with it. Believe it or not, Mr. Ryan Evans is amazing at taking care of babies. You see, when Hillary was born, Mom got sick and Dad was too busy taking care of her. Matt was afraid of changing diapers and stuff—not that he'd ever _done_ it before—and the nanny was out of town. Sharpay… well, you know Sharpay. So guess who did everything for her? Yeah, of course. I did.

I was twelve when Hillary was born, so I wasn't stupid or anything. Dad showed me how to do everything once, and I remembered. Why? Because if _I _didn't do it, no one else would—and believe me, when I say no one, I mean no one. (I didn't change her diaper one time, and like four hours later, she was still wearing the dirty diaper, and Sharpay and Matt were yelling at me to change her—they never even helped once. That taught me pretty fast). I mean I _had_ to do it—I couldn't just leave my little sister there with no help—well sure, Sharpay and Matt did, but I'm not them. So I did everything from changing Hillary's diapers to feeding her baby food to heating her bottles, (yeah, Mom was ok by now, but she didn't really want to help and preferred to watch "Ryan and his fatherly personality"), to reading to her at night to loving her to rocking her to sleep, and doing all the other things that parents are supposed to do. My mom was actually pretty proud—that's one time in my life where she actually _noticed_ me.

Anyway, Troy looks horrified, but I'm feeling pretty good about it. We're led over to the rooms where the babies are kept and it's my time to be horrified.

Most of the babies here are at this orphanage because they have some kind of handicap and their parents can't afford to take care of them. Yeah, there's a blind baby. And then there's a deaf one. And then there's a mentally challenged one, and then there's another that can't walk because of his body structure. Then there's some that are perfectly fine, but their parents either died in some terrible accident, or they really can't afford them. As I'm just standing here, I can feel tears coming to my eyes—which I don't want to cry because I don't want people thinking I'm weird—but I can't help it. Some tears just fall down my cheeks and Troy sees me and squeezes my hand hard. I look at him, and his eyes just send me this message that says, _It's ok. _My hand feels empty when he lets go.

All of the sudden, it _is_ ok, not because of the lives that these babies are going to have to live, but because Troy's here, and we can make everything better and work the hardest that we can to help. That's why it's ok.

I just can't believe that some people can live like this while I live on the top of the world with my dad's hotel. I wish I could just send some of my money over here to help. (My dad would want to know if I was crazy). I'm just looking at some of these babies, and their eyes are just begging for some love and attention and care. It makes some more tears squeeze out, and I'm just feeling so bad. How come they got a life like this? What made me deserve my life and why did they—these innocent children—have to be born over here and sent to some place where there's not enough love and care to go around? What made me so lucky? Why were _these_ children left with neglect and despair?

So I need to help. I just walk up, and take the first baby I see, a girl with thick, black hair and big, brown eyes. (They're all lying on wooden boards—they don't even have any cushions for them). I bring her close to my chest and just sit down, rocking her softly, and telling her what a pretty baby she is and how I'm going to take care of her.

"It's ok," I whisper softly, rocking her back and forth from where I'm sitting on this really hard bench that nobody deserves to have to sleep on. "It's ok. I'm here—yes, Ryan's here—and everything's going to be ok." I hold her close, and she lets out this small whimper, and some of my tears fall on her head, dampening her hair. "It's ok. I'll take care of you," I manage to choke out, rubbing my cheek against her soft, silky hair.

Troy's staring at me sort of in shock and awe. He looks guiltily at the floor and walks over to get a baby—his is a blind boy—and sits next to me, looking at the way I'm holding the girl to find out how he should hold his baby. He adjusts the baby a bit, and I show him how to support the boy's body and how to hold the boy close. The boy snuggles up to Troy's chest, and I can see how happy Troy is, because his eyes are all light with joy when he looks at me.

It's sort of amazing really, how much such a small motion can make somebody happy. I guess as we get older, the small things in life matter a whole lot more.

A small girl with long black hair comes up to me and talks to me rapidly in Vietnamese—which I really can't understand. Vinh comes over with a smile and translates. He says that the baby I'm holding is the little girl's sister. The little girl's name is Tranh and the baby's name is Mai, (pronounced "My"). They're here because their mother died and their father could no longer support them.

I nod, sort of speechless. Why did their mother have to die? Why did they have to come here? Would life ever get better for them? I made a quick prayer to God that things would get better for these kids here.

Zeke runs by where he's talking to some kids mainly using sign language. They're kicking a really flat soccer ball around, and I grin because all of us are already pitching in to help. I notice Kelsi helping a girl learn English—yeah, they're being taught English—while even Sharpay—I guess she didn't care too much for the kitchen—is helping a small girl color her picture—and they color exactly inside the lines. It's amazing.

I hear a sound from next to me, and Troy's scooting closer to me. The baby that he's holding has gone to sleep and is drooling on his shirt. Troy puts an arm over my shoulders, which is sort of strangely sweaty but in a good way, and he looks at me, with all this sweat running down his face which makes me feel self-conscious about my own self and makes me wonder if I'm sweating too. His dark blue eyes glance in mine, and he looks sincere. "You'd make a good dad, Ryan."

"Oh no," I say, flushing with embarrassment. "I wouldn't."

"Why not?" he wants to know, his voice full of genuine surprise.

"I'm gay," I tell him, watching him blush. Then I want to punch myself. Why did I have to go and let that loose for? He didn't need to know—nobody knows except for Sharpay! I don't know why I had to go and blurt _that_ out for… I look down, feeling embarrassed, and he glances down at the ground, looking anywhere but at me.

We don't say anything else, and I feel like the moment is ruined. We just sit there quietly, and he doesn't say anything. So I don't say anything either.

Troy's POV+

Why am I so shocked? Ryan Evans—gay… well, the way he acts is a huge hint. But for some reason, I never linked those two words together.

For some reason I don't feel repulsed or disgusted, the way I'd always thought I'd feel when I found out someone was gay. Instead I feel sort of excited and dizzy and happy, which I really shouldn't be feeling.

I guess Ryan's something special. I glance at him, and he looks all sad and scared, and I reach over and grasp his hand, letting him know it's ok, and I still think he's a good guy. His breaths slow and he looks at me, his clear blue eyes saying _thank you._

I notice how pink and perfect his lips are and all the sudden all I want more in the world is to be kissing Ryan Evans and feeling his whole body and all his perfect skin under me. I want to be hugging him and feeling him and running my hands over his smooth face and pressing my lips against his.

Then I'm shocked. Why am I feeling this? What's going on? There's something wrong with me… there definitely is. Of course I can't think about it for too long, because then Mrs. Darbus is calling us in for lunch and all I'm trying to do is forget about my feelings. Because these feelings can't be right. I can't be having feelings about Ryan Evans.

That's just wrong.

Ok, this chapter is finished, and I'm off to work on the other one. Leave a review. Oh, this story's rating may change in case I want to do a sex scene, so let me know what you think. Should there or should there not be a sex scene? So review, tell me what you liked, and all that other review stuff.

Oh, I'd like to mention that the orphanages in Vietnam are actually like this. I tried to paint a picture for you about the environment. Let me know how I did and if I should add more description—yes, I did cry when I visited. Review for the fourth chapter.

-Miss Lovely


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**: Oh, I'm sorry to disappoint you all, but I forgot to take out my author's note from the time I posted this story before. For those of you who did not come across my story before, it was posted awhile ago, but then I got booted for unexplainable reasons (they didn't tell me). I've written up to Chapter 9, so I'm posting another one everyday. I had around one hundred something reviews, so I want to "regain" that position. So please keep reviewing, even if you've already read it, because I'd really appreciate getting up to that ranking and status again. There will be _no _sex scene—though I wrote it already, for those of you who actually read it. I'll just have people e-mail me when I get to that point and tell me if they want to read it or not. My e-mail's on my profile; I'd be glad for everybody to give me some feedback.

**collin395**: Um, I'm Vietnamese but I'm an American too. As in, my _culture_ was from Vietnam… yeah. And I don't have any personal feelings about the Vietnam War if that's what you mean… I don't _live _in Vietnam, but I do have a friend there who goes to an international school in Ho Chi Minh City, so she can speak English and she has a really gorgeous white boyfriend, haha. They all speak English at international school.

**Crimsonred1989**: You don't have to make your reviews short. I actually like long reviews more. Aww, thanks—I'm glad you like it. I won't be posting the sex scene—you can e-mail me instead for it because I don't want to risk being kicked off again. That was not cool. I hope you keep reading and enjoy it.

**mordechaimalachai**: Aww, thanks. I'm glad you like my story. Yay! You re-read my story. Haha, that's really cool—some of my reviewers print out my story to re-read and re-read, haha. Umm… food sex. Sounds interesting, but as I said—there's no sex scene anymore. I don't want to risk being banned—if you know what I mean. Yay! And you'll be happy to find out there's a _sequel _to this!

**ZacEfronLuver**: Yeah, I wrote this whole story. Ummm…I was kicked off—I don't know if you noticed but I was. It wasn't pretty—I think it was the "graphic content" so yeah. No sex scene this time.

**Mondler4Ever**: I'm glad you like my descriptions. I'll be looking for those stories and stealing your review virginity. Don't worry.

**DarkPhoenix1987**: Thank you. There will be no sex scene posted on fanfiction. I don't want to risk being booted off—again. (See the author's note).

**majestic-sam**: I have a livejournal only I don't know how to use it at all. So you'd have to help me with that. You can ask SteffieEvans26 about it, but I swear I don't know how to work it. So you could help me, I guess.

Chapter 4:

Ryan's POV+

I really am in love. Troy doesn't mind that I'm gay, and I feel so happy and light and airy. I would get up and dance around like the crazy kid I am, but I'm holding Mai right now so I decide against it. I just kiss her head.

Anyway, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Darbus has gotten us all this Vietnamese food so we can "experience the culture" as she puts it. Yeah, she drops off the food, and leaves to go eat food at the hotel, the hypocrite that she is. Crazy lady.

Anyway, we're all sitting around staring at these white noodles in this weird soup. Did I mention that it's _burning_ hot soup and we're already sweating enough as it is? I mean Sharpay's whole face is running with sweat, Chad's armpit areas on his shirt are covered, Gabriella's hair is completely frizzy, Kelsi has been talking about how she needs to _cut _her hair off before it strangles her, Zeke's whole head is dripping with sweat so every time he shakes his hair, rain comes out, Taylor's mascara is smearing, Troy looks like he went swimming, and well, you get the idea. My hat is covered in sweat—my dad is going to kill me. It was Burberry.

Vinh tells us the food is called "Pho" or something, and I try it. It's actually really good. Pretty soon we're all eating it, slurping up the hot noodles, only then we realize that we're really hot now. The soup did _not_ help.

Kelsi has an idea. "Hey, let's play Truth or Dare."

Everybody pretty much agrees on this.

Well, pretty much everything you expect happens. Taylor's dared to kiss Chad. Jason's dared to lick a wall—ok, I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything. Zeke's dared to sing "Pieces of Me" with Sharpay, and I'm just trying not to think that my sister sounds like Ashlee Simpson, but she _does_. Gabriella tells us that she likes Troy still—I watch Troy, and he just sort of blushes.

Then it's time for Troy to go. Ok, Troy Bolton has _never_ turned down a dare in his life. He's done everything from eating a bag of Starbursts all in his mouth at once to asking an ancient lady to go out with him. So he looks pretty confident right now.

That's until Fulton looks him straight in the face and says, "I dare you to kiss Ryan Evans."

I feel myself getting all nervous and my heart's pounding away in my chest. Do they know? Does _Troy_ know?

Troy glances at me, and I see his ears turn bright red. "Uh… I can't do that…"

"What?" Sharpay's standing up with a weird glare in her eye. "Is Troy Bolton _turning_ _down_ a dare? So much for your reputation."

Troy's nervous—you can tell now. I'm just sort of kicking the dirt on the ground.

"I can't do it unless Ryan's ok with it," Troy breaks off, and he looks at me for confirmation.

I'm trying not to show how eager I am. I just nod silently, and Troy gives me this look that says _Are you sure?_ I answer with one that says _Yes._

He steps forwards and presses his lips against mine.

Troy's POV+

I'm shocked, I really am. Kiss Ryan Evans? Where does _Fulton_, the _Goth _get these ideas? But Ryan's ok with it, because his eyes tell me I can.

So I step forwards, closer to him. Ryan steps back a little—he looks really nervous. I place my hands against his face, and bring it close to mine. Then I bring my lips to his, those ones as pink as Sharpay's lip gloss.

I put them against his.

Now I feel awkward, but instead of pulling away, Ryan sort of deepens it, pushing into it even more. I shove my tongue into his mouth, and for some reason it doesn't seem disgusting like it does sometimes with girls. His lips just taste like—call me weird, but _watermelon _candy—not the crummy type, but the really good type. He doesn't pull away, but intertwines his tongue with mine, and that's when I know that he loves me as much as I love him, even though I've been trying to hide it all along.

We kiss for a long and deep time, and it seems like nobody's there anymore. It's just me and Ryan, and I want it to stay like this forever.

Only things don't last like that.

"Dude!" I hear Chad say, sort of vaguely in the background. "Troy! I never knew you liked making out with _guys!_"

That's when I jerk away from Ryan and he glances at me, and pulls his face away like he's embarrassed he messed something up for me. I want to tell him that he didn't do anything and that I love him and want him more than anything, but I can't do that.

That's not something Troy Bolton can do.

I laugh weakly, "I got you all, didn't I? That was pretty funny, wasn't it? I almost got you there for a second—you thought I really liked it, didn't you?" I wipe my hand against my lips and rub it on my pants, even though I want nothing more than to remember how Ryan tasted.

Chad's laughing. "You did, buddy. You did. I almost freaked out there, I almost did." He walks over, claps a hand on my shoulder, and brings me over to the table.

I'm trying to joke along with him, and everybody's saying that I actually _am _a great actor, but when I look up, the only thing I can see is the hurt look on Ryan Evans's face, and knowing that _I _was the one who put it there.

Ryan's POV+

I'm drained. We worked pretty much all day, and I tucked Mai in before I left. We went back to the hotel, ate dinner, and now it's time to go to sleep. Well, of course I brush my teeth first.

I've avoided Troy all day long. I haven't looked in his eyes since he kissed me, I haven't said one word to him. I don't want to talk about it, but it's harder to avoid it now that he's the only person in the room with me.

I guess I'm stupid. Why would Troy like me? Why would Troy like a worthless kid like me? Why would Troy want to associate himself with me?

I don't know, but I thought for a second, there was a possibility that he liked me. It was somewhere along the point when I was tasting his whole mouth in mine.

Anyway, I pull off my clothes, and get into bed. I don't want to wear pajamas—it's _way_ too hot here in Vietnam, so I just get in with my Burberry boxers. Everybody else is already asleep—we haven't quite gotten used to the time change yet. I feel sort of awkward sleeping in just my boxers, but then I remember that Troy doesn't like me, so it doesn't matter anyway. My heart feels broken, and a tear escapes, but I just brush it away.

I don't want to think about it.

I still love him though, there's no doubt about it. I still love him, because he's what I'm thinking about as I pull the covers on and close my eyes. Troy Bolton. I'm in love with Troy Bolton.

Troy's POV+

I'm cursing myself for being so stupid and hurting Ryan. He doesn't deserve to hurt. He's too beautiful to hurt.

Anyway, he's sleeping now, and I notice he doesn't have any clothes but his boxers on. I feel awkward, but I know it will be suspicious if I pull on my pajamas. It's too hot to sleep with clothes on. I strip down to my boxers, and climb in the bed, turning off the light.

Ryan's breathing really softly, and he's already asleep. He was pretty tired, I guess.

He rolls over as he's sleeping, and all the sudden he's in my arms, his bare back against my chest.

_This _is awkward.

I feel his naked skin pressed against mine, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to move or else I'll wake him up and embarrass him. Besides, I _like_ feeling him close to me. I'm over denying my feelings now, because I am in love with Ryan Evans. I swear. I don't know what Dad would say, I don't know what Chad would say, but I can't help it. I'm gay and I'm in love.

So I just wrap my arms around Ryan, and try to memorize what his skin feels like, because I'm not going to get a chance again with him after I hurt him today. I think he likes me, or at least _did _like me, because well…

I guess I'm hoping for too much.

I run my fingers loosely over his body, feeling the soft flesh of his arms and his skinny chest. I run them over his neck and softly across his nipples which sort of harden as I touch them. Ryan whimpers softly in his sleep which makes me feel really horny. Gulping to myself, I reach my hands down and feel the rest of his body, which is so nicely shaped and beautiful. His legs are long and skinny and well… yes, he's pretty much perfect.

I'm in love with Ryan Evans. I swear, I am.

If I ever get a chance with him again, I won't blow it. I won't.

Troy's kind of stupid, don't you think? Oh well, review for more. More fluff and cute scenes coming up if you review. Read my first author's note. No sex scene. Review for Chapter 5.

-Miss Lovely


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**: Thanks for the reviews. I own Fulton. I don't own the characters. Yeah, not _High School Musical_, etc. This story will have a sequel for those of you eager people.

**Warning**: This story involves homosexual relationships, so do _not_ read if you are offended. This story will be Troy/Ryan. If you don't like, don't read.

**Summary**: Troy Bolton has never really cared for Ryan Evans or bothered to know him. However, when they go on a community service trip to Vietnam and are roommates, will they find friendship and love?

**ANoRDaE**: Yay! One of my old reviewers is BACK! Yes! Aww, thanks, and I hope you keep checking up on this so you can keep reading and reviewing so I can get back my review status.

**DarkPhoenix1987**: I'm glad you like it. Fast update? Pfft, that's just because I've written up to Chapter 9 already! And I just want to post a little at a time, but post quickly too, so I can get reviews _and _start working on Chapter 10! This story really gets pretty intense… just wait for it and keep reading and reviewing. That's your job, haha.

**Mondler4Ever**: Yay. I don't really understand what you're saying because I really don't think my writing's that amazing, but I guess it works. Well, I'm not posting the sex scene. Sorry. Here's an update for you.

**majestic-sam**: I don't relly know sol invictus too well—I thought he was a girl so that shows you something. Anyway, I think it's ok if I just post here and don't do weird stuff on livejournal yet.

**E**: Aww, thanks. I try to sort of leave a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter, but I have yet to master the skill of cliffhangers. My friend, Miss StrawberryFinn, really has though, haha. I would post the scene only I don't know how to use livejournal and also… uh… ((blushes)) I forgot my password.

**SteffieEvans26**: No, I'm keeping the original story—not writing anything new, but I'm just not _posting _the scene. You can slap Troy too, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**ZacEfronLuver**: Here you go.

**Crimsonred1989**: I'm glad you like the scene—I work really hard on each chapter. Thanks—you can email me when we get up to that point. The sex scene is Chapter 7.

**Disney-Kid**: Go ahead, I don't care.

**BriT**: I can't post all the chapters at once, haha. It would defeat the purpose of regaining reviews. Thanks, there was a lack of Troy/Ryan stories.

**BrightEyesx**: Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Here's an update.

**TillThatTime**: It's ok if you didn't review. I posted kind of fast. Haha, I tried to get reality in the situation, and if Ryan was listening to Chinese movies then he was. Aww, thanks I know what you mean—details are important. Thanks, and get back to me about co-writing maybe?

**mordechaimalachai**: Sequel, yes there will be one. Hmmm, maybe I should start the sequel and not finish this one—I've seen people do that before. Haha, I feel bad for Ryan, and Troy is a big meanyhead. Chapter 10 will not be posted until Chapter 9 is up, haha, sorry. So you better keep reviewing because I don't post without reviews. That's what I was planning to do—with the email thing (I have my email in my profile). Thanks, I feel privileged that you like my story so much.

**empath89**: Thanks, I'm glad you like the community service project idea—I wanted something original. Here's an update. ((hugs))

Chapter 5:

Troy's POV+

Nothing much has happened. Well, we went shopping, where Sharpay, Gabriella, Kelsi, and Taylor discovered that Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Hollister, Von Dutch, DKNY, Diesel, Quiksilver, Billabong, Kipling, and Louis Vuitton are all made in Vietnam. They seriously went crazy and started buying stuff since it's like one dollar here. The stuff's not fake either, it's _real_. I feel all helpless because it's not fair that it's made for so cheap, and they just jack up the price in the US. I mean, there was this shirt Taylor got for a dollar, and on the US price tag it said like twenty five dollars.

We've been helping out at the orphanage everyday, and Ryan is in love with the baby—Mai. His eyes light up every time he sees her, and he's always singing to her and rocking her. She's his girl, I guess. It's not like he ignores the other babies or anything, but he just loves her. I guess she's special.

I haven't talked to Ryan at all since that day I kissed him. Well, we glance at each other every once in awhile, and there's sort of I guess, "small talk", but we don't bring that up. At night I still run my fingers over his skin, and he hasn't figured it out yet. Yesterday, when he was asleep, I felt his crotch, and it was nice and tight. If only I hadn't hurt him…

Anyway, we've gotten off the bus, and Ryan heads over to where the babies are. He enters the small room, if you could call it that, and when I follow him, I see that his face is white with worry, his beautiful forehead creased with lines.

"What's the matter?" I ask, my heart pounding with dread. Something's hurt Ryan.

"Mai's sick," he whispers, his eyes looking sad and defeated. "I don't know why, but she's not looking so good."

"Oh no," I say, looking over at Mai. She's sweaty and her hands feel clammy. Her face is read and perspiration is covering her head. She's motionless when I try to move her, she doesn't even let out a noise. The only reason I know she's awake is because of the slow rise of her chest. I feel like crying—Ryan already _is_ crying.

"Did I do something wrong?" he looks up at me for an answer, sniffing softly. Those blue eyes shouldn't be so broken and sad—they're too beautiful. They're full of tears and I feel like I'm going to cry in about a minute.

My voice catches in my throat. "No, Ryan. You didn't do anything wrong. Mai's just sick—she'll get better. You did everything right, she's luck to have someone like you." If only I could be so lucky. But I blew it. I shouldn't be asking for another chance.

"You really think so?" His angelic voice is thick with grief, and I want more than anything to hold him close to me and let him sob his heart out into my chest. But I really can't do that.

I blew it. I don't deserve a second chance.

Ryan's POV+

Mai's sick, and my heart's broken. I don't know. She was fine yesterday—well, she coughed once or twice, but I thought it'd be ok. I mean, babies cough sometimes, don't they?

Now she's just lying there motionless, her head all sweaty. The only reason I can tell she's still alive is because of her movements when she breathes and small whimpering noises she makes. Troy says she'll be alright, but since when has Troy Bolton known anything about this type of stuff?

This reminds me of the time Sharpay was sick. Mom and Dad weren't home—they left us to go to New Zealand. We had a housekeeper, but she was absolutely worthless. I mean, she left right when Mom and Dad were gone. Anyway, the morning I woke up, Shar was sick. She was coughing and sweaty and she looked so sad and pathetic. Matt was out with all his jock friends, so yeah, I had to take care of her. I sat up there all day, giving her medicine, moving her around, making her comfortable, reading her books. I was only nine for God's sakes. But she got better. It made me feel more confident in my abilities.

Looking at Mai now, I have no confidence whatsoever. If she doesn't get better, I'll fall apart.

I will. I love this child.

Picking her up, I hold her close to my body, feeling her sweaty forehead, and seeing her fever-glazed eyes. I kiss her on the forehead, and feel more tears escaping.

"I'm sorry Mai," I whisper, taking her out into the air so it's not so stuffy. "I'm sorry. I'll do my best."

The only answer I get is a low, soft whimper, and I know I can't do anything about it.

Troy's POV+

We're back at the hotel now. Ryan spent the whole day trying to make Mai better. The baby's still sick. I really hope she gets better. I can't stand to see Ryan hurt.

Anyway, Ryan rubs at his reddened eyes—yeah, he's been crying like all day long, and only Sharpay could talk to him—pulls off his clothes and gets into the bed. He's tired.

I stay there, looking at him for awhile, trying to remember all of his delicate features and how gorgeous he is when he's sleeping. This kid could model. I could see him as an Abercrombie and Fitch model—well, not really, because I don't think he could pull off the whole serious look they have going on. Ryan's smiles make me feel all warm inside, and he looks quick and slender like trickling water—not all solid and stern like the models for Abercrombie. Maybe he could do American Eagle—or I could _definitely _see him as a Pac Sun model.

I brush my teeth, wash my face, and then get into the bed after stripping off my shirt and shorts. I leave my boxers on of course. I'm not _that _perverted.

Ryan's POV+

I breathe silently, trying not to let Troy know I'm still awake. I don't know—I just can't sleep tonight knowing that Mai's sick. I shouldn't say anything to him though. I don't want him to worry—or think that I'm a coward.

What if she dies? I can feel the fear rising in my chest when I think about that, and I keep trying to convince myself it's not going to happen. I mean Tranh would be devastated, and so would I for that matter. I've never had anyone _that _dependent on me since Hil was a baby. I mean, Sharpay makes me carry all her stuff, but she's never truly relied on me and needed me as if her life depended on it.

I love Sharpay, don't get me wrong. We're twins, so sometimes we even have this weird telepathic thing when we know what the other twin's feeling. I wonder if she felt it today when my heart broke. She was sorry, of course, but she couldn't do anything. She just hugged me hard for awhile, but I couldn't help wishing that she was Troy instead. I'd feel so secure and warm inside Troy's grasp.

If Mai dies, I swear… I don't know what I can do.

Troy moves up closer to me, and I go back to my pretend state. A tear falls, but I just try to ignore it. I don't want Troy's pity.

Yeah, but all the sudden his hands are on me and he's _feeling _my body. How weird is that?

**This part of the chapter has been deleted for sexual content. I don't know how graphic you can get on this website, but I'm not going to try anytime soon either. Sorry. I got busted once off this website, I don't want to make that two times. So, if you want the full version either review anonymously and leave your e-mail address or go to my profile and e-mail me at the e-mail I have posted there. Yeah, ok, that's about it. (Oh, it's not really that graphic, but I don't want to risk it).**

_What _was that? I mean, it's not like Troy Bolton _likes _me or anything. I love him, I know I do—but what about him? Am I just some kid he likes to play games with—some kinky sex toy that he has?

All the sudden I feel like crying and crying and never stopping. Troy Bolton _doesn't _like me—he's just taking advantage of rich-boy Evans, Sharpay's not here to kick him off for me—Sharpay kicks _hard _when she's mad… especially in the crotch, (I know from personal experience)—and my little baby might die.

What is this world coming to?

Haha, Troy is _so _stupid, and Ryan's just… haha… Not the best chapter, but just wait for the next one. Review, please. (Oh, all those clothing brands _are _made in Vietnam. Boy, was I mad).

-Miss Lovely


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**: Aha! Update for all of you. This chapter's sort of sad, but it's definitely one of the favorite ones I wrote. Thanks for all the reviews—I still don't own anything but the plotline and Fulton.

**Mondler4Ever**: Thanks, it's good to know you're still reading and I have support. Haha, you remember that scene, huh? Oh well, some people wanted fluff so that's what I gave them.

**DarkPhoenix1987**: Well, I sent you the removed part. And I love you too, thanks dear.

**TillThatTime**: This chapter kills you… hmmm… I wonder what the next will do, haha. Ryan is caring, that's the character I've built for him. Yeah, you read that before I got busted, haha, but if you wanted it again, you could just email me. That really is a realistic reaction—people don't accept or give love so easily, that's what this cruel world teaches us all. Ah, well, I love Sharpay so I needed her somewhere, haha. Yay, co-writing. Yeah, hear that everybody? WE ARE CO-WRITING!

**ZacEfronLuver**: Here you go.

**mordechaimalachai**: It is sad when kids die. I've known a lot of kids who've died. Ok, I'll finish this one first—that is, if I don't get side-tracked. Get an account, please. It would be nice and I've just learned how to type out your reviewer name, haha. It takes a _long _time. Update here.

**King of Kings**: I hope you got it.

**E**: I'm glad you like it—I hope you liked the scene I sent you. Yeah, keep reading, thanks.

**FusedByFlames**: It's ok you didn't get back to me, but you have now so I'm happy. Thanks, I am back—I'm glad for the welcome.

**empath89**: Yeah, ok about Mai getting _better…_ well… ((sheepish grin)) how about you just read this chapter? Ah, you get kicked off for _these _reviews? Oh God… well I'll start next chapter, how about that? ((hugs))

**Crimsonred1989**: Yeah, Vietnam has all the brand names. I was really mad. Thanks, I'm glad you like it.

**brIT**: Yeah, I'm glad you like it and I'm glad you understand why I can't post it all at once.

Chapter 6:

Ryan's POV+

We get off the bus and walk into the orphanage. I feel sort of depressed. Well, last night didn't make me feel any happier, if you know what I mean. What kind of person _is _Troy? I thought he was better than that.

Anyway, I go into the building—well, sort of a building as I explained before—and Tranh comes running out, her eyes all red and tear-filled.

It didn't happen. I can't believe it. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. It didn't happen. Everything's fine, nobody's hurt. Nobody's _dead…_

She just runs up to me and hugs me around the waist like I'm her brother or something, and I can't do anything but pick her up and hug her back. (She's not really heavy, seeing that she's like eight or something). She actually reminds me of Hillary. Hil's all little and when she gets scared, I just rock her softly, like I'm doing with Tranh right now. I just hold her close to my chest, trying to get rid of the ache in my heart. She reminds me so much of Hillary, she does. Tranh's sniffing into my shoulder and I can feel my t-shirt getting all wet.

Then Vinh goes to this lady and starts talking to her in rapid Vietnamese and she answers him. He walks over to me. "Ryan…"

"What?" My voice is a low whisper.

"Ryan. I hate to tell you this but… Mai died during the night…"

All the sudden I hear myself screaming and I want to stop more than anything else but I can't. "No!" I'm yelling, and I put Tranh down and I'm screaming louder and louder until it seems like the whole world is yelling and no one will ever be happy again. I'm screaming because I want everybody to hear me so that nobody can ever be the same again because this world's not the same without that little angel…

Everybody's staring at me, and some person comes up behind me and touches my shoulder. I look around and it's Fulton. He's asking me if I'm ok and his eyes are all worried, but I can't hear him, I can't hear anything except this buzzing sound in my ears.

And all of the sudden I'm bawling, bawling like I can never stop, and I don't think I can. Everything's blurring together, and I'm crying and crying. Sharpay comes up next to me and tries to hug me, but I jerk away from her and run…

I keep running and running, not knowing where. I run out of the orphanage, across the street, on and on…

I've lost her. I've lost my baby. My baby's dead.

Troy's POV+

Ryan's gone. I don't know. Vinh told him that Mai died and Ryan just—I don't know—he just broke and snapped. He was crying, sobbing his heart out, all these tears running down his face, and I almost started crying too. Sharpay, his own twin, tried to talk to him, but he just shoved her away and ran…

Sharpay's eyes are worried, and I can tell she's scared.

"Sharpay," I come up, talking directly to her for one of the first times in my life. "It's ok, he'll be back. Ryan will be ok…"

"No he _won't_!" she cries, a desperate note creeping into her voice. "You don't know Troy… you don't know what Ryan does when he loses something. You don't know. He goes _crazy. _He hurts and hurts and cries so hard—and he _hurts _himself. He hurts so bad even _I _can feel the pain and our bond's been sort of broken for the last two years. He's so mean to everybody when he loses something important," her voice breaks with agony, and I'm shocked. This is the first time I've ever seen Sharpay concerned like this, so she must be saying the exact truth. She's his twin, so she should know.

But all I can think about is Ryan. Ryan out there by himself, going crazy, about to break… and I know what I have to do.

"Don't worry Sharpay," I'm telling her, "I'll find him. I'll find him for you."

Her eyes are grateful, and she bites her lip. She believes me, and as I head out of the orphanage, despite Mrs. Darbus yelling at me, I can only think of one thing. I don't hate Sharpay Evans anymore. All she's trying to do is protect her brother, and I like that.

It's not too hard to find Ryan. I just run down the alleyways where I would run if I was him, and he's just sitting in a doorstep, sobbing. It's started raining too, and it seems almost ironic—like the whole world's crying. But now that I've reached him, I really don't know what to do. I'm just standing there, sort of _staring _at him, and I don't know—I've never been the greatest guy at showing my feelings.

_Do something_, this voice is saying in my head, so I do. I mean, I can't just _stand _there and stare at him. I walk closer to him and put my hand gently on his shoulder. I'm sort of afraid he's going to push me away like he did to Fulton, but he just looks at me, his eyes all red, and he just sits there and sobs.

"Ryan," I say, noticing my voice shaking and arching onto a higher note, "Ryan, are you ok?"

I'm so stupid. Of _course_ he's not ok. His little baby just died. The one that _I _said would make it.

He doesn't say anything, but keeps on crying, his shoulders shaking. I sit down next to him, and impulsively drape an arm over his shoulder. "Come on, Ryan. It'll be all ok."

"I should have known, Troy," his voice cracks with misery, and he turns to me with the saddest look on his face. It breaks my heart. "I should have known—I should have done something. I could have stopped it, Troy! I could have stopped it and she'd still be… s-still be here," his voice is trembling, and it's all I can do to stop from bursting into tears. "She'd still be here, Mai would be still alive, but I didn't do a-anything. I didn't do," his voice is quaking, "I didn't do anything and…"

There's a silence, and I know I have to say something.

"God, Ryan," my voice is low and pathetic, and I know it. "God, Ryan, you have to get that it's not your fault and you couldn't have done anything. Sometimes the world just works in strange ways," a tear is falling, but I don't feel embarrassed, knowing somehow that Ryan won't say anything. "It just gives you heaven one minute and then completely destroys you the next, Ryan. It just gives you all you've ever wanted and then drags it away."

I'm not being sappy or corny. Why? Because the world _does _work like that. _I _should know. One minute I'm in love with Ryan and I think he might like me too, and the next he's snatched away from me…

"Don't say that," Ryan snaps, his voice now shaking with anger. "That's what they always say, but it doesn't work like that, Troy. There's the actions and their consequences. Causes and effects. I could have done something, but I didn't, so she's _gone._"

Something tells me I should just shut up now, but I can't. So I'm going on, "I'm not lying, Ryan. I'm not making up a stupid story like every other time. It's true. The world works like that. I could have done something too, but it wouldn't have worked at all!"

"What?" he's whispering in a pained voice. "You didn't cause anybody to die—anybody to lose themselves like I did. You never did anything to destroy anybody. You didn't lose a chance at all! You're just that jock—the jock that gets everything he ever wants—don't tell me that you know what it feels like to lose something like this…"

"I _do _know," my voice is rising steadily in anger, but I stop myself. Ryan's hurting, I shouldn't say things like this. I don't think he really knows what he's saying. This must be what Sharpay means when she said he goes crazy.

"What? What did you do that messed you up so bad, Troy?" Ryan's begging me now, his eyes pleading like he can get some hope knowing that he's not the only one who's hurting inside now. "What did you lose?"

The rain is falling—the sky's empty and gray—and the water is landing in Ryan's hair, trickling down his pale face. The drops are blending in with his tears, matting his delicate eyelashes together, and he silently looks at me. Those blue eyes that are so lost and confused—they need my help.

I can't mess up now. He's given me my chance, and I need to take it.

"I love somebody," I'm saying, my voice shaking too. "I love somebody, and I lost the chance that I'd ever have to have that someone love me back."

His face is sarcastic, and I've never felt a pain like this before.

"That's not anything, Troy," he says, his voice bitter with pain. I feel myself getting angry, but I have to remember. Ryan's breaking right now… Ryan's hurting, and if he's lashing out, that's the only way he can stay together in one piece. Sharpay warned me, and I need to remember that. "You can find love again—find this girl you're looking for. It's not that big of a deal."

"It's _not _just a girl," my voice breaks, and Ryan looks at me in shock. "It's not just anybody, Ryan. It's not just anybody that I can find. It's not, Ryan. This person's a perfect angel. This person I'd die to have. This person I've fallen head over heels in love with, but I broke this person so they'll never love me. They'll never love me because I messed up bad. Who is it, Ryan? It's _you._"

And before I know what I'm doing, I come close to him and take his beautiful curved chin in my hand. I lift up his head close to mine, and press my lips against his.

He's crying softly, and his tears are falling down my cheeks, and I glance into his eyes. They flicker down, and he doesn't pull away. He deepens the kiss, and I feel his soft lips against mine. He trembles, and leans into my chest, and I'm cradling his body protectively against mine…

Ryan's POV+

Troy's kissing me—he loves me. Everything looks so much brighter now, and the rain keeps coming down hard, blending us together in this small alleyway.

He's holding me in his arms, and somehow I know that everything's going to be alright, though nothing's ever going to be the same again…

Sex scene next chapter, but you'll have to e-mail me for it. Review for it.

Oh, and by the way, TillThatTime and I are going to start a story—_Love is a Force of Nature_ where Ryan and Troy get the parts of Jack and Ennis in _Brokeback Mountain_. It will hopefully be up soon and so send us a bunch of reviews because then we will love you. If you haven't read TillThatTime's story _It's never really easy to be like me_ yet, you really must. She's on my favorites, so check it there.

-Falling With Grace


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**: Woohoo! It's here… finally. The sex scene. So those of you who don't want to read about male/male sex, please don't read. I'm warning you. If you do not like, then do not read. You have been warned. If you read and then complain, I will _not _be interested in listening. So, you have been warned. Now, enjoy. Umm… I'm not posting it because it's too graphic, but you can e-mail me with the address I put in my profile or leave a review with your e-mail. REMINDER: the emails don't show up in reviews so don't do it that way! Oh, I'm also sorry but I won't be able to do the review reply anymore because one of my reviewers let me know that that's not maybe allowed… sorry. I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS! Thanks to Mr. DarkPhoenix1987 for being a MALE reviewer!

**Warning**: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC SEX BETWEEN MALE/MALE CHARACTERS, (Troy/Ryan). I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT CLEARER.

Chapter 7:

Ryan's POV+

The rest of the day sort of rushes by in a craze. I go with Troy back to the orphanage, where we help out for the rest of the day. Everybody sort of avoids me. I can't really blame them though.

Anyway, when I feel all sad and depressed looking over at Mai's empty spot, Troy seems to know. He walks over and squeezes my hand, letting me know everything's all right. His concerned, dark blue eyes look in mine, and they say, _I love you._

Corny, I know, but true. Troy Bolton loves me. I love Troy Bolton. Troy Bolton loves me. _Troy Bolton loves me._

This thought drifts through my mind as I work throughout the day, eat lunch, get back on the bus, and head back to the hotel. Then a thought occurs to me.

We'll be in the hotel room. _Alone._

Troy's POV+

My heart is pounding as I walk into the room with Ryan and shut the door. All of us, (I mean the people who actually came on this trip), are pretty much wiped out from the day's work, so we all head into our own rooms.

But now I'm with Ryan. Alone.

Ryan glances over at me, his pale face flushing red in some areas. I look back at him, feeling myself blush too.

I mean, we've confessed our feelings. We love each other. What's the problem _now?_

Ryan goes over and sits on the bed. I climb over there next to him, and pull him close to me, hugging him like I did this afternoon.

"I love you," he whispers, and I feel happier than I have for awhile.

"I love you too," I say, and bring my lips to his in a perfect kiss.

**Short summary: Troy and Ryan make love. Yeah, but if you want the scene, e-mail me with the address I have in my profile. THIS ONE IS GRAPHIC. Be careful—don't ask for it if you get offended. I'm sorry—just review again because I'm really too lazy to check through all the reviews to find out who wanted it and who didn't. So if you don't mind…**

Some intense things are coming up… true love doesn't always last forever. As Troy says, "The world works in strange ways."

-Miss Lovely


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: This chapter's pretty intense. It involves cutting, so don't read if you don't like. Thanks for the reviews. This is for those of you who _didn't _want the sex scene so you have something to read. Yay me!

Chapter 8:

Troy's POV+

I've been running the thoughts of this morning over and over again throughout breakfast and now, as I'm boarding the bus. I'm so deep inside the memory that I almost fall down as I step onto the steps, so I sit down in the first seat that's there.

All I can see is the shower, the heat, the lust. The passion that burned in Ryan's eyes as he looked at me, his face showing me that he loves me, he loves me. The heat that surrounded us as our bodies intertwined in the steamy shower. I love him.

We agreed that we shouldn't tell anybody right now—maybe later, but not right away. He told me that nobody knows he's gay, except for Sharpay who actually isn't bothered at all. Well, of course I know now. But nobody knows except for him that I'm gay. Well, so I thought.

I'm sitting in the seat, staring out blankly. I'm sort of expecting Chad to sit down right next to me since he _is _my best friend—Ryan's sitting a few seats back; he doesn't want anybody to know yet. Chad's my best friend, Ryan's my love. I have to keep them separate.

Anyway, instead of Chad or Jason or Zeke sliding in next to me, there's a flurry of blonde hair, and I turn to face Sharpay Evans.

"Hi Sharpay," I say, my voice feeling a bit nervous. What's she going to do? Yell at me?

She looks hard into my eyes, her brown ones dominating, as if daring me to say something. (I notice that she has brown eyes, but Ryan's are blue. Hers remind me of chocolate, but his are dancing water). I don't, of course. I'm just staring at her, wondering how on _earth _she can be the twin—or even be _related—_to Ryan. She showed some of her sensitivity yesterday—I'm aware of that, but _still. _She's confident, rather dominating, while Ryan's slight and shy and quiet. She's "the Ice Queen," cold and harsh. He's more like water, moving fast and rippling, sliding away from my touch, but somehow warm, letting me hold him.

I'm so busy analyzing them that it takes me awhile to realize that she's talking to me.

"Yes?" I snap back into reality.

She stares hard at me. "You weren't listening, were you?"

"Sorry, not really." I feel myself burn under her piercing gaze.

"Thank you," she says, her voice at a low whisper.

Ok, why is she acting so humble, and _what _is she talking about? I've never seen Sharpay so quiet before, and it sort of scares me. I'm used to a loud, obnoxious Sharpay. I saw a different person yesterday, but it's going to take some time to adjust to it.

"For what?" I say.

She looks at me hard. "Don't play stupid, Troy. I know. Thank you for… giving Ryan what he deserves—thank you for treating him right. Thank you for respecting him."

"What…" I feel myself flush. _Oh my God, Sharpay knows. Sharpay knows._

"All of his past relationships…" she trails off, looking somewhere else as if she's remembering. "They always hurt him, Troy. They always ended up trying to hurt him—have sex with him. One guy tried to _rape _him, he barely escaped. And every time he came back, sobbing, crying, coming back to me, and… I didn't know what to do, Troy. Please don't do that to him, I don't think he can go through that one more time. I don't think _I _can go through that one more time."

"How do you know?" The words come out before I can stop them.

She laughs, meeting my eyes directly. "Troy, I'm his _twin. _I know everything—when he's hurting, when he's happy, everything, Troy. We used to be really close, but we sort of drifted off, but I still know. I still know…" She says this absently, twirling a strand of her hair with her finger.

"Oh." That's all I can think of to say.

"So, Troy, please don't hurt him. Please treat him with _care_," she stresses that word. "I love Ryan, Troy, and I don't want anybody to break his heart again. I don't think he'll be able to hang on anymore."

"Don't worry," I tell her, feeling like this is the first true statement I've ever told her. "I love Ryan. I won't hurt him."

She smiles and turns to leave. "Wait…"

She looks at me. "What?"

"Does… does anybody _else _know?"

She thinks about it, and then shakes her head. "I don't think so."

"Good." At least something's safe now.

Ryan's POV+

Today we worked so hard that I'm back in the hotel room right now, and I feel like passing out. We helped clean up the orphanage a little—I tried as hard as I could to avoid that empty spot where Mai once lay. I didn't want to think about it, so I focused on last night instead, every single perfect moment with Troy Bolton. When I thought I was going to break down, all Troy had to do was glance at me, his eyes saying, _I love you_, and I could forget some of the pain.

Troy's downstairs with all of the rest of them—Chad decided that _tonight _would be a good time to hang out. I'm too tired to stay down there.

I need to get some rest.

Troy's face looked so disappointed when I couldn't join them, but I'm tired.

I love Troy Bolton. _I love you._

Troy's POV+

I don't want to be here. I want to be upstairs, with Ryan.

But what can I say to Chad? He was so excited that we were finally going to spend some time all together when we weren't working. Anyway, I can't say that I'd rather be with Ryan than him.

We're all sitting around in a circle in the lobby now. Mrs. Darbus said it was ok, as long as we got upstairs at least by midnight.

Gabriella's sitting next to Sharpay, Kelsi's next to Jason, Zeke's playing with Sharpay's hair… it all seems so perfectly happy. Except that Ryan's not here.

Anyway, Chad's looking around, taking that whole leadership position he usually gets. "Let's play Truth or Dare then."

Taylor scoots closer to him, and Chad places an arm over her shoulder. "Ok, Tay, how about you do the first one?"

Taylor nods and then looks around the circle. For some reason, my heart's starting to pound and my palms are sweating… I'm feeling really nervous. Her brown eyes land on me.

"Troy."

"Yeah?" My throat feels so dry and scratchy, and I don't know why. I don't know why.

"Truth or Dare?"

I consider my options. "Truth," I finally say.

"Are you gay?"

"_What?_" My heart's pounding even harder and harder. I don't want to look at anybody in this circle, and I can feel all their eyes on me. I'm just looking down hard at my hands, wishing I was anywhere but here.

"Troy," Chad's voice cuts through the thickness of the air. "Taylor asked you a question."

"No," I say, my voice catching in my throat. I've never lied in Truth or Dare before—isn't it sort of against the rules? Sharpay's looking disappointedly at me, but what am I supposed to say? "Of course not."

I can feel everybody looking harder at me, especially Chad. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I hear how pathetic sounding my voice is. A complete lie. "Of course."

"Prove it."

"_What?_"

"I dare you to make out with Gabriella right now and prove to all of us that you're not gay."

I can't believe this. What's Chad doing? What kind of game is he playing? _Does he know?_

Part of me wants to scream out and say, "Ok, my GOD I LOVE RYAN EVANS." But the other part is submissive, and the voice comes out of that half. "Ok."

I walk up to Gabriella, wondering how on earth I ever thought she was beautiful. Her dark hair wraps around her face, and I can't help but wish that it was the beautiful blonde hair. I can't help wishing that the fragile curve of her face was thinner, that her skin was the lighter, more flawless shade. I can't help wishing that her dark eyes were the blue ones instead—the blue ones that I really love.

As I kiss her, I can't help wishing that she had that same watermelon taste, the same loveliness of Ryan.

But I've never been strong. I can't tell the truth.

Even now.

Ryan's POV+

The phone rings, and I pick it up.

"Hello?" I'm waiting, wanting to see if it's Troy.

"Hey."

It's not. Troy's voice is deeper and richer and more passionate. I could recognize it anywhere.

"Who is this?"

"Ryan? It's Fulton."

Oh, the Goth kid. What's he doing talking to _me? _I can see Fulton clearly on the other side, running his hand through his black hair and biting down nervously on his lips.

"Yes…" I wait uncertainly. What's this about?

"Ryan, I thought you should know. Troy's making out with Gabriella down in the lobby. He's really kissing her hard."

I feel like someone's punched me hard in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. "What?" My voice comes out in a tiny whisper of disbelief. _No, it can't be true._

"I just thought you should know. And how did I know? Ryan, it's sort of obvious by the way you look at him… I just thought you should know." Fulton's voice sounds so matter-of-fact, and I realize that it has been sort of obvious.

And then he hangs up, leaving me sitting there, breathless. A wave of emotions is running over me. I can't believe it.

_But Troy said he loved me._ I'm stupid. I believe all the things—I know they can't be true. What's wrong with me? I'm so gullible and naïve. Sharpay's always been right. Matt's always been right. My parents have always been right. I'm not worth anything.

Of course he never loved me. Of course he couldn't. He's always had someone better, always been _straight,_ always deserved better. I don't deserve him… I'm not worthy.

These thoughts are racing through my mind, and it takes me awhile to realize that I'm sobbing, tears running down my face, my shoulders shaking. Of course Troy didn't love me. He never did. I was stupid for believing all those things he said. _I love you. _Yeah right, I should have known better, but I never learn. I never learn.

I get up and walk to the bathroom, suddenly realizing what I have to do.

I strip and get into the bathtub, turning on the water at the hottest it can be. I scrub vigorously at my body under the stream of water, liking the pain as I rub my body hard with soap. I need to get Troy out of me. I need to get Troy out of me. I need to get Troy out of me. The pain only makes it more like I'm getting rid of him.

I need to get rid of him, get him out of me so I don't hurt anymore. The tears are still running down my face and I can't believe that life can be so painful, that it can hurt so much. My heart's shaking inside of me, and I'm sobbing, bawling even, thinking of all the things that have happened. The lies, Mai's death, and now… this…

Sighing to myself, I sit down in the bathtub, thinking. I feel so dirty, so violated and used. Troy just played with me. I was just his sex toy. _I was just his toy, and I thought it was love. I thought he loved me._

With a moan of frustration, I grab at the razor that I just used to shave this morning. Raising it above my wrist, I can feel myself shaking. I haven't cut since Tom last beat me up… but I feel like I need to do it now.

Trembling, I bring the blade down, pressing it against the underside of my arm. Then, I draw it across hard, watching as the blood spills out into the water, staining it with red as gashes paint themselves across my skin. I try to escape the wave of dizziness, and draw another cut over my arm again, as more blood escapes, making the water a dark crimson.

I suddenly feel nauseous, and the razor drops from my hand. A wave of dizziness and pain washes over me, and suddenly everything's spinning, everything's spinning. Black dots cloud my vision, and I'm out, thinking one last thought. _I really loved you, Troy._

Troy's POV+

I break the kiss, and pull away. Chad looks satisfied.

"Well, that's done with."

Sharpay's throwing evil glances at me, and I can only look away—I can't face them. Fulton comes back—where did he go?

Anyway, I'm tired now, so I tell them I'm going to head up to go to sleep. I can't wait to get out of there and wash the taste of Gabriella out of my mouth. The elevator door opens, and I step out to my room, swiping the key card through the slot.

I enter the room, and it's strangely quiet. I don't know why, but there's a heaviness on me, and something feels wrong.

"Ryan?" I call, walking over to the bed. Ryan's not there.

I walk over to the bathroom, and the door's slightly open. I push it open, and a sight greets me. I scream.

Swirls of blood are on the ground, swirls of blood blending in with the water, and Ryan's limp body lying in the bathtub.

I scream and I scream. They say I was still screaming when the ambulance arrived.

Sort of melodramatic, but I thought it worked. How about you? Review. (OH, DON'T BE MAD AT FULTON. IT WASN'T HIS FAULT. IT WAS TROY'S).

Keep your eyes open by the way. I'm starting a new TroyRyan called _Quiet Eloquence _and I like reviews a lot. Review this for the next chapter. Chapter 9's the last full one I have written so far so I'll be back to writing and updates won't come so fast. Sorry.

-Miss Lovely


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note**: This chapter's sort of short, but the next one will be longer. I'm still working on the next one but I thought I might as well post something for you to all read. Thanks for all of the reviews, dears. I'm working on _Quiet Eloquence _right now, haha.

Chapter 9:

Troy's POV+

Everything blurs together. I can't tell anything apart. The men that loaded Ryan onto the stretcher… his face pale and drawn and so white. So white, his flawless skin now marked by those cuts. The two cuts that slash along his wrist, the red standing out so vividly against the clear white background.

"_Oh God, Ryan, what have you done? Why would you do something like this?" I'm screaming, screaming so loud. "Oh my God, my Ryan, my Ryan…"_

_Sobs. Sobs so loud, so wrenching. My shoulders shaking._

_Ryan. Ryan on the ground. Against my body, his nakedness so vulnerable, so close to my chest. Running my hands along his face—so white… so cold, like snow. Running my hands over his body. Trying to warm him. Make him warm. Make him alive again._

_Wanting those eyes… those eyes that remained closed… to open. Open and bring back those clear blue crystals… bring back my Ryan._

"_Ryan." Moaning, sobbing. Sobbing hard into Ryan, whose lifeless body is just laying there…kissing… kissing his soft head. Kissing his cold lips, kissing his face, over and over. Will that help?_

_I don't know. I don't know anything. Just helplessly kissing him over and over. "I love you, Ryan. I love you. Don't leave me, please. I never saw how lost I was without you. Please Ryan. I can't live without you; I can't lose you."_

_Ryan. I _need_ Ryan._

_Cradling his limp body against mine, holding hard onto his arm to try and stop the blood._

_Stop the blood from pouring out._

_Stop the blood._

_My hands. Covered in blood. The red drips to the floor, like wine staining the floor. Not wanting the blood to stay there forever. My stomach turns. Blood? Blood, where… the blood from Ryan. Ryan, his blonde hair still wet, his slow rise of the chest._

_He's breathing._

_Still breathing. Sigh of relief. Ryan's still alive._

_But not for long._

_It hits. Desperation claws at my insides._

_Screaming. Screaming for help, huddling, holding Ryan against me. "Help, please God, please. God, if you're up there, please save my Ryan, please don't let him go."_

_Covering Ryan with a blanket. Shield his nakedness. Shield his beauty._

_Nobody deserves him, least of all me. _

_Then the voices. Still screaming._

_They run in. First Sharpay._

_Sharpay is crying. Crying, the tears running silently down that pale face, mingling with her blonde locks of hair. Crying and screaming. _God please don't take her brother. Don't take her brother away from her now. She was so hopeful, please God. Be merciful.

_The blonde hair. Like Ryan's._

_Chad's face is horrified. Zeke comes in, holding Sharpay, letting her sob into his shoulder. She pushes him away, runs to Ryan, sobs. "Why, Ryan, why? Please… why?"_

_She cries, I cry. Jason puts a hand on my shoulder; I jerk away._

_Chad looks confused. Why am I so hurt by this? Why? I love him Chad, I love him. I want to tell him._

_So scared. Can't do it._

_Chad assumes, "It's ok Troy. It's ok. I don't know why—it's not your fault. Walking in on blood like that. It was scary, wasn't it, buddy? It's ok."_

_Chad. What do you know? How do you know how twisted I feel inside?_

_My Ryan. My baby._

_Kelsi's face is white with shock. Like Ryan's. So pale, so drawn._

_Bloodless._

_Ryan._

_Please Ryan._

_Don't leave me. Please._

_Taylor. Shocked. Her mouth is open in a soundless scream._

_So scared._

_Gabriella. Her dark hair framing her face, which is pale now. All signs of happiness gone. _

_Gone._

_I'm screaming. Again._

_Mrs. Darbus. Hair frazzled, eyeglasses almost falling off._

_Looks at Ryan. Somehow I know she's already calculating the expenses of how much the Evans will sue the school._

_Strangely calm, calls 9-1-1._

_Why didn't any of us think to do it?_

_Mrs. Darbus. Holding my shoulder, telling me it's ok._

_It's not ok._

_It's not ok._

_It's not ok._

_Nothing's ever going to be the same again._

It's not _ok_.

_Screaming at her, "GET AWAY FROM ME! IT'S NOT OK, RYAN'S DYING, Ryan's dying… Ryan's dying…"_

_My Ryan. Going to be gone._

_Please no. Please don't take him. Please give him another chance._

"_Don't cry Troy, it's not your fault. It's not your fault."_

_Everything goes black._

I'm here now, waiting in this hospital room. It's humid, everybody's silent. I try to erase the images. The sirens. The limp body. Me. Begging to go in the ambulance with them, devastated when they shake their heads. No.

Mrs. Darbus calls Vinh. An emergency, she says.

We get on. Hospital.

Here.

Ryan. Ryan. My Ryan.

Sharpay has huge tears falling down her eyes—her eyelids are red and it's the first time I've ever seen her like this. She's shaking back and forth, moaning, "Ryan… Ryan…" She looks at me now. Looks at me, and I know how much she hates me.

How could I do something like that—just before Ryan was gone? But why would Ryan do something like that… why would Ryan do something like that?

Fulton walks up to me and touches my shoulder. "Troy, I need to talk to you."

Everything's so disconnected; his voice is warped like a bad techno song. I follow him outside.

"I know why Ryan hurt himself."

My voice catches in my throat. _You hurt him, didn't you Fulton? Didn't you?_ I can't control myself, and I throw Fulton up against the wall, a hand holding hard onto his collar, a fist aimed at his face. "How could you hurt him, Fulton?"

"I…" Fulton can't talk; his face is turning blue. I relax my grip a little.

"I didn't hurt him, Troy. _You_ did."

"What?"

Fulton's voice is a wheezy gasp. His black hair falls sloppily over his forehead, a lip ring is prominently silver in his full lips.

"He knew… he knew about you making out with Gabriella. Oh God, I told him. He had to know, Troy. He had to know before he found out from somebody else. He had to know… I didn't know he'd go do something like this." Fulton's crying, but I'm just standing there, staring at him in disbelief. "I didn't know he'd do something like this, please Troy, believe me. I knew it all along, Troy. Just the way you two looked at each other, it was obvious—I had to let him know; it was the right thing to do."

I want to punch Fulton; kick him, beat him so hard until he pukes up blood. I want to kill him.

But I know I can't.

It's not Fulton's fault that Ryan's hurt. Fulton was just trying to do what was right; let Ryan know what was going on.

Please, I want to take it all back. Please Ryan. I want to take that kiss back from Gabriella—give it back to Ryan. If I could, I'd do it all over again—do what was right this time. But I can't.

I can't. _I can't._

_Please Ryan, you have to understand. I couldn't tell Chad. I couldn't tell everybody about that. I've always been weak, and I still am. I still am. I can't tell anybody… I can't. I've never been made of the stronger stuff, and you know it. You know it Ryan. Please Ryan. I'm so sorry, my God, I'm so sorry. Please, please, please. You're so strong, so beautiful. Life was so meaningless without you._

_I was lost in a cloud, unaware of the beauty that surrounded me. Unaware of the love in my life._

_Unaware of the best thing that's ever going to happen to me._

_You._

_I love you, Ryan. I love you._

_I can't go on without you. I need you. I need you here._

_But you're not here, and it's killing me._

How did it get this way? When did it all get this bad?

Why does it have to be this way?

It's not Fulton's fault Ryan's in the hospital.

It's mine.

And that's the worst thing of all.

Like it? Review. The next chapter will include something from Ryan, who's out right now—but I'll sort of do it like he's in a coma. The italicized part from Troy was a memory. After this, there will probably be two or three more chapters and then I'll be done. Don't worry; I'm doing a sequel to this. Oh, be sure to check out _Love is a Force of Nature_ when it's posted and also _Quiet Eloquence._ And read _Second Chances_ by Disney-Kid, not because it's amazing but because _I _edited it. Just kidding, haha. Read _It's never really easy to be like me_ by TillThatTime too. And Mondler4Ever has some pretty good stuff.

You know what? Just look at my favorites and read those.

-Miss Lovely


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note**: Here we go. Back to the story, sorry it took awhile to update. Lots of angst in this chapter, some implied sexual abuse. Yeah, thanks for the reviews. Review again please. Rather unrealistic at some parts, sorry.

Chapter 10:

Troy's POV+

The night's been so long. It seems like a million years since Sharpay came up to me and slapped me across the face. The pain burned; I could feel the redness running across my face. Fulton told her. I saw him.

It's not Fulton's fault. It will _never _be Fulton's fault.

He told Ryan. He didn't want Ryan to find out later than necessary. He didn't know the whole story; he just told.

It's not his fault. It's mine.

Sharpay slapped me hard, and in that moment, I saw she was at her breaking point. She loves Ryan. She loves Ryan so much, and I almost destroyed him.

She has a right to do that. She has a right to hit me.

I almost wished she would do it again—kick me, hurt me, break me—something, but she burst into tears instead, and turned to run.

Zeke went after her. Chad only looked at me, and muttered something underneath his breath. Probably a cuss word. He doesn't know.

I deserve to be killed. I deserve to be pulled out, beat up, hit until I puke. I deserve it.

But nobody seems to know it. They just go on… and I'm standing here, sitting in all my guilt, and that's what drives me so crazy.

I hurt Ryan. _I _hurt Ryan. I led him to do all these thing—to hurt himself. To _hurt _himself. I'm sitting here, sobbing into my hands, and Chad wraps an arm around my shoulder.

I wish he knew. I almost consider telling him for a second, but since when has Troy Bolton been the strong one? I can't do this; I can't admit to everybody what I am.

Especially now. I'm a monster now.

I deserve to die.

A doctor walks in; Mrs. Darbus perks up. I look at the doctor, afraid of the verdict.

Is Ryan going to live? Is Ryan going to live? Oh my _God, _how is he?

He's lost a lot of blood. God, I _know _that already, I don't need to hear it again. Hearing it makes me relive that moment, that moment, knowing it's all my fault. They need to have blood put into his system, donations are coming. Right now he's breathing through a machine—there's not enough blood circulating through his body, so he doesn't have enough oxygen. His brain's shut down because the blood's needed in other places… oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Oh my God, what's going on? I'm so scared; I've never been so scared in my life. Sharpay's gripping the bottom of her chair so hard that her knuckles are turning white.

I'm scared.

Coma. How did he get in a coma? All these words and blending together and I'm only getting snatches of it because I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it.

I don't want to hear it. I'm so scared right now, but the doctor says we might as well visit him because they don't know how long he's going to last… or if he's going to make it at all.

Ryan's POV+

_Everything's dark. Everything's cold. I'm so afraid. _

_All the thoughts from before, all those statements over and over, "I want to die," "I can't go on without _ _Troy__," "Life is worthless," somehow feel so petty now. I don't want to die. I'm only eighteen; I have a whole life still. I don't want to die. _

_I'm so pathetic. First I want to die now I don't. _ _Troy__… _

_I want to die again. Troy doesn't love me, I can't go on without him. That lusty smile that curves up from the corner of his mouth… _

_Oh God, I miss him. I love him so much. _

_Why wasn't I good enough? Why was I just some kinky sex toy? _

_Why can't I wake up? I want to open my eyes, know what's going on… _

_It's so dark. I'm so scared. _

_Wait, what's that? There's a noise. I'm trying to sit up, but my body… _

_My body's not listening to me. Nothing's responding. _

_I'm trying to talk. _

_Nothing happens. _

_What's wrong with me? I can't talk, I can't move. I can only lay here… _

_And listen. _

_Something's touching my hand. _ _Troy_

_No, the touch is from a softer, smoother, more feminine hand. Sharpay. _

_"Ryan." Her voice is soft as usual, a bit on the casual side like she's trying to keep herself from crying. I know my twin. "Ryan...I…" She's biting her lip now, somehow I just know it. _

_Tears are bordering her trembling voice. "Ryan, I'm so scared. How could you… why did you do something like that, Ryan? It wasn't worth it, _ _Troy__'s not worth it, Ryan. I love you… I love you so much, and I've told you to stay out of things like that… that will _hurt _you, because I told you that you can't put up with things like that. God, Ryan, have some consideration, I love you how could you just go throw yourself away like that?" _

_There's a pause. I feel something next to me and I know Sharpay just sat down on my bed, or whatever I'm laying on. Her hand's near mine and I want to touch it, but I can't move anything and it's driving me crazy. "Ryan… I'm so scared without you, Ryan. You're my twin," her voice arches up and I can hear her quiet sniffles. "You have to make it, you _have _to. I know you can hear me right now, and I know what you're thinking. You can't make it without _ _Troy__, but you _can._" _

_No I can't Sharpay. You don't understand. My heart's been broken one time too many. _

_As if she can understand what I'm thinking, her hand reaches up and slides into mine. I wonder if she knows what I'm feeling right now, if this connection is still alive even though there's something wrong with me and I don't know what… _

_Sharpay's crying now—I can hear the tears coming. _Don't cry Sharpay, please don't. I don't want you to hurt. It's not your fault._ I want to say that so much, but I can't—I can't do anything. What's wrong with me? _

_Am I dying? I'm so scared… I must be dying. _

_There's a shuffle and I hear a nurse. "Dear, you need to go now, I'm sorry." _

Sharpay, don't leave. Please don't leave Sharpay, I need you. _I'm so scared, Sharpay. I don't want to die, I'm so scared. I'm in the dark and no one can save me. _

_Where are you? The space Sharpay was just in is now empty, and I want to touch the spot, feel where she just was, make believe she's still here even though she's gone now and I know I'm all alone. I just want to convince myself otherwise, or else it will keep on hurting, and I'll be lost once again. _

Troy's POV+

They won't let me see Ryan. They say only "family" can go in right now, so that's about Sharpay. Mrs. Darbus already called the Evans, but Mr. Evans is off on some hotel meeting thing and Mrs. Evans just received a huge deal with some huge clothing store so they're not coming. Matt's in college and there's no way Hillary's going to come.

I hate Ryan's family. They don't see how lucky they are to have someone like him in their lives.

I hate myself too. Only a messed-up jerk like me would lose someone so precious, so beautiful…

I said I wouldn't blow my chance, but I did again. So I _hate _myself.

Gabriella's trying to help Sharpay but she's not responding to anybody, not even Zeke. Why? Isn't it obvious? She's the only one that knows about this relationship besides me and Ryan and perhaps Fulton. She hates me and I deserve it.

I wish I could just take everything back, take back the pain I've dealt, take back those tainted promises I whispered to Ryan. _I love you._ Yeah right, look what I've done now. I'm a pathetic mass of lies and I'm breaking now because the truth's coming out.

I wish I could just tell everybody, let everybody know that it's all my fault so the suspicion is gone and Ryan doesn't just look like some manic depressant. I want so much to tell everybody because I owe Ryan at least that, and if I wasn't so cowardly, I would. But why can't I tell?

I'm afraid. Call me pathetic, but it's true. I've always been self-conscious about myself, about what others think of me, and it continues to stand true. I hate that part of myself, but I can't just wake up one day and change who I am. It doesn't work that way.

Ryan loved me for who I was, all my flaws and all my weaknesses, and I didn't deserve any of it. I lied to him, left him open and bleeding—in a more literal sense then I would have liked it. He almost died for me, and maybe he will, and that scares me.

I can't live without Ryan.

Ryan's POV+

_Everything's still dark. Everything's so loud next to me. I can hear everything so clearly, from the nurses talking loudly outside to the quiet whispers as they come near my room. _

_"Cutting…" _

_"Teenage depression, that's what it is." _

_"God, when are these kids going to learn?" _

_They don't know half the story. _

_I loved _ _Troy__. He made everything seem so real to me, made everything seem so beautiful. He told me he loved me, and I just ate it up. I'm so gullible, so easily played on—maybe that's why they won't stop. _

_I'm hurting. It hurts so much, so much to be _used _like that. I'm scared, so scared. _

_Why would he lie like that? Why would he just play with me? Why would he take advantage of my feelings? _

_I guess I'm just another lonely lover, another toy he wanted. _

_He didn't have enough with the girls, did he? He needed a boy to play with too, a boy to slam and thrust into, a boy to violate and take advantage of. Just like Tom… _

_Tom. He was so different. He was so beautiful, I just fell for him, like all the others I fall for. He said he loved me, he kissed me. He made me feel so special. _

_But he just wanted what everybody else wanted. Little sex toy Ryan to play with. Clawing, grasping, pulling off my clothes. "No!" _

_"Shut up, you know you like it." _

_"Oh God, no, please." Crying, crying so hard. Sobbing, the tears running down my face. _

_Slap. It burned, the pain spreading across my skin. Slap. _

_Blood. I bit hard on my lip, he ripped down my boxers. "Come on, Ryan, you know you want it." _

_"No, please..." So desperate, so hurt. _God please no.

_So betrayed. The flesh burning against mine… and everything went black. _

_I let it all happen again. God, I'm so stupid. I hate myself. _

_I'm so dirty. I'm so dirty. _

_I'm such a waste of life. I hate myself, I hate who I am. I'm glad I'm not awake right now, I _hope _I die so people don't have to see how truly disgusting I am. _

_The truth is, I still love _ _Troy__. There's no denying it, and my heart keeps breaking over and over again. Only this time, I don't know if I can get through it, one more time… _

**Author's Note**: Probably only one or two more chapters. Hope you liked it. Review for more. Check out _Quiet Eloquence _ok? My new story that will be updated soon.

-Falling With Grace


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**: The moment you've all been waiting for! The last chapter of _Tainted Promise_ is up right now. It's rather short, but I hope you enjoy it anyways. Thank you so much for all my consistent reviewers and I hope you love this chapter.

Chapter 11:

Troy's POV+

I haven't been able to think. I haven't been able to sleep. I haven't been able to eat.

Everytime I try to take my mind off Ryan—to try and do something else—like community service, I keep thinking about how sweet the babies are, like Ryan. How perfect and beautiful their eyes are—like Ryan's. At night, in the empty hotel room by myself, there's a huge space next to me—a hole that matches the one in my heart. I couldn't stand it, so now I'm rooming with Chad and Zeke. Everytime I eat I think about how perfectly Ryan's fingers moved in front of him, so I can't eat and I'm constantly hungry and dizzy.

It's been going on for a week.

Sharpay's talking to me again, if that's any help. She hates me still, hates me for not being able to do what was right, give myself up, but I think she understands more. She understands that I'm weak, that I'm scared.

That I'm not Ryan. I'll never be as perfect as Ryan. I just don't have the person it takes to be him in me…

I'm weak and I know it.

That's why I'm scared right now.

Why?

The doctor just called.

Ryan's awake.

Ryan's POV+

Sharpay leaves the room, and I smile faintly. It's good to have a sister like her—someone who loves you like that.

There's a small scuffle at the door and Troy enters. I freeze.

He shuffles in, his eyes on the floor, like he's ashamed of himself. I guess he should feel bad, taking advantage of me like that.

"Hey Ryan," he mumbles, and when he looks up, I see he's gone through a lot. His eyes have dark circles under them, and he looks like he hasn't been eating much. His eyes are sort of red and he looks really bad. Of course he's still beautiful though—beautiful in a now lost way and not the energetic way he's been looking for awhile.

"Hey," I whisper quietly. What am I supposed to say? This is the guy who broke my heart, who led me to cut myself and almost die. Now I'm facing him and I wish I was dead so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of knowing that _he _was the one who used me and _I _was the one who believed it was love.

"Ryan, I didn't mean it with Gabriella, I…"

So he knows I know. I should be angry. I should hate him. I should want to kill him, but the problem is I don't and instead I just want to sit there and cry. Of course he doesn't love me—he can have any girl he wants, why does he want a guy too? I'm so stupid. I can't believe myself. I know I shouldn't believe him yet I want to so badly. It just seems like everything's going downhill from here…

Troy's POV+

Ryan looks scared. No, that's not right. Ryan looks downright terrified.

His blue eyes are full of haunted fear, his lip's quivering as if he's about to cry.

And I want to kill myself.

I want him to be angry, to hate me, to kick me like I deserve. But he doesn't and instead he just sits there, looking at me with this betrayed look on his face.

I give him such a pathetic excuse. _I didn't mean it._

You can't kiss somebody and then just shrug it off. No matter how much you pretend it's not a big deal, it is, because it leaves a mark on you forever. I hate myself.

"Ryan," I try again, but he gives me this flash of pain in his blue eyes that say _Don't._

He doesn't believe me, and he has a right to. I wouldn't believe myself if I was him. If I was him I'd want to kill me. He thinks I was cheating on him, that's obvious, but…

"Please Ryan," I say, and take the risk of putting my hand over his. He pulls it away almost instinctively, leaving my hand feeling empty. I've waited for Ryan to wake up for so long, but now that he's awake, I wish I had more time to fix what I've messed up.

"It's ok," I try to say again, looking anywhere but those betrayed blue eyes. He looks so scared and it hurts me more than anything I've ever felt before. I've really messed up bad this time…

Ryan's POV+

"How can you say it's ok?" my voice escapes in a hiss. I'm so scared, so sad, but I have to hide it with anger. "It's not ok, Troy. You lied to me. You promised me that you only loved me and then…" my voice breaks and I sound so pathetic. Tears are coming to my eyes and I want more than anything to just hurt Troy, to hit him, but I can't. I've always been so weak, so vulnerable and I don't know why I even wonder why so many people take advantage of me. "I… can't believe you Troy."

Troy moves closer to me and I flinch. For a second I'm afraid he's going to slap me. I almost want him to slap me, to assure me that I'm stupid for believing such a thing and of _course _he loves me…

But he doesn't.

He just tries to hold my hand instead and I jerk away again. I see the pain in his eyes and somehow, I'm _glad _that I hurt him because he deserves it. He deserves it so much and I hate how I want to forgive him so badly.

"Ryan, I messed up really bad," he tries again, his voice a raw call of misery. Tears are in his eyes now and they slowly run down his face as he leans forward. "I'm sorry, Ryan. You should know I love you. I love you Ryan. I gave everything to you—God, I gave my _virginity_ to you. I love you and I'm sorry I messed up, Ryan. You don't know how _lost _I've been without you… I've been so scared, so messed up, so hurt."

"Ryan, I can't eat without you. I can't breathe. I can't live without you Ryan. Everything seems so messed up, I messed things up so bad and everything… I don't know Ryan. I can't do anything without thinking about you. Every time I wake up I wonder how you're doing. Everything's just spinning around me and it seems like I was just living in a dream until you came along," his voice breaks with pain as he tries to make me understand. "I… I don't know anymore Ryan. I don't know anymore. All I know it that I _love _you and please, you need to take me back. I don't deserve you, Ryan. I don't deserve it either. I know I should just get rid of myself and die but I have to tell you that I'm sorry. Please, please take me back. I feel so broken and so lost without you and…" he stops, tears flooding his eyes, his body racked with sobs. "I'm so scared because I don't know what's going to happen to me if you don't forgive me. I don't think I can go on without you…"

Now there's just silence.

Troy's POV+

I lower my eyes, ashamed of myself. I hurt Ryan, badly, and I know it. I shouldn't be begging but somehow I can't help it. I need him. I need him.

I need him to forgive me so I can live with myself. This guilt has been haunting me, breaking my soul inside.

It seems like I'm sitting here for hours and then I feel a slight touch on my hand. I look up, and it's Ryan.

"Do you promise?" he asks me in a hollow voice. "Do you promise that all you say is true?"

I nod, tears still flowing from my eyes, choking slightly on the lump in my throat.

"You promise never to hurt me like that again?" His fragile blue eyes are searching deep within my soul. "You promise?"

I nod again, sniffing and pushing my head against his chest.

Ryan pulls me close to him as we pull together and hug. I hold him close against my chest and kiss his head over and over again. I bring his face close to mine and kiss those perfect lips that I've been missing for so long. The emptiness inside me is eaten away, destroyed because I know that I have him back with me, the absolute perfection.

I know things will be hard. I know things will hurt but I've taken the first step in that new chapter.

Life's a tainted promise but now I have him back. I have Ryan back and I love him. Life drowns you in regrets, hurting you, pulling you in, but I'm lucky.

Because now I have someone to go through it with me.

**Author's Note**: Well, that's it. It didn't turn out as well as I wanted, but it's the best I can do. Keep your eyes open for a sequel. I'm thinking about calling it _Falling Grace_ but I had another story up here with that same title. Oh well, the next story will be about Ryan and Troy facing the prejudice together at East High. I know there are some stories like it, but mine—I assure you—will be different. Check out my other stories for the time being. _Quiet Eloquence_ is actually a better work than this piece in my opinion and I started a story titled _Distorted Elegance_ in _The Suite Life_ section. Read and review them, please. Review and let me know how you liked it.

-Falling With Grace


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